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Kama Elwal Poem
I didn't know what to say.
For once in my life, I was quiet.
I stood there, nails digging into my palms, it stang;
Eyes too, tears reflect what they see;
Tinnitus, blood rushes up above, defies gravity.
I couldn't say what I wanted to.
The lights, with a thud they jump on;
Right on me, here
My lips quiver,
It's hot, my skin itches, to be peeled off like week old dressing;
It's frigid, every part of me aches, shakes like a dog in the rain.
"Where am I?"
I call out,
Realise it was not outloud,
Refrain.
I don't know what I'm meant to say.
Each part of my limbs trembles, torso supported by boughs of willow shaking in the wind.
Mouth opens, closes again,
And again
And again
And again.
The audience grumbles in their seats,
Stones in hand, torches in the other
The music swells, violin takes over,
Expecting me to sing.
"They're growing tired,
Do something,"
The stage director yells.
Climbs up onto the stage.
The front row is blurred.
I don't know who they are,
Yet the dread of familiarity fills me
The centre seat reflects my own face.
The director runs up, a strike lain across my face,
She's sitting as if she owns the place
Another, cheeks sting, match the misplaced rouge,
Why does she sneer?
Another, tears fall, the dams break
Why does she laugh?
Another, and my knees meet the ground.
It's frigid, my dress tattered, audience entertained.
They laugh, they gasp
They squeal, clap.
My head matches the green of my gown.
Crimson matches the nails in my palm.
She stands up, visage grabbing fae,
There, in the crowd,
She turns, bows
What audacity?
This is my tragedy to endure
Mine to embrace.
I stand, nay, I try
For my legs give way.
Pity, they've betrayed me too
I would do the same.
I run to her, put my hands around her
Neck,
I put my life in it,
She stands strong, stoic
The audience rages in laughter.
My head meets the ground again,
The orchestra subsides
The show is over,
I'm out of sight.
I wake up on the stage,
Lights blaring
Blind me
Bruises line my jaw
Scratches further ruin me
It's fun
I'm part of the show
I don't know my lines
But they all laugh so
Perhaps if I stop
They'll go away
My limbs keep dancing however
For love, however rancid, tastes the same.
I'll keep on dancing
Dance until she smiles
I'll hold my tongue and my breath,
Bow when the applause dies.
Copyright © Kama Elwal | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Kama Elwal Poem
It's disgraceful, the way you call it love,
The look you give me when It's not my face you hope to look at.
Petals, you name them after me, scatter them on the ground.
Be honest, was it my name, do you know for a fact?
These sonnets you write for me,
Never was I the muse.
Perhaps you just like sonnets too much.
Perhaps someone else was your prose.
It's disgraceful, the way you call it love.
People don't have a heart anymore, once they give it away,
Is that why my gift was an empty box?
Yeh ishq ki tauheen hai,
Hum iss tarah na dekha karo.
Jo phool humare naam nahi kar sakte,
Hum par is tarah faika na karo.
Agar yeh lafz likhte nhi humare liye,
To aise muft mein mushayra na karo,
Yeh ishq ki tauheen hai,
Kisi aur ka dil humein diya na karo.
Copyright © Kama Elwal | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Kama Elwal Poem
Roads long squandered,
Routes trained to memory.
a crack in the long unyielding concrete
unremarkable.
Then, a wildflower
A peculiar pink.
Leather, nostalgia.
Cinnamon, mellow.
Stop dead in my tracks,
Wistful, yearn.
Many a while did I dream of creation
After all, what does it take?
Soil, water, an undefeated soul.
Many a while did I long for something that called me God.
Many a while did I pick up a pen,
Dropped it back down.
Afraid of laughter no one laughed,
Fearing fingers yet unpointed.
What does it mean to begin?
What does it take to begin?
Paper, ink, a sliver of hope.
Do I have what it takes to begin?
Now every new page,
A breath of awakening
In a book awaiting it's soul.
A step, far from empty pages.
Albeit one, this stride
holds strength of lifetimes far spent.
And as I sit, winds of change,
Of beginning, blowing through my hair finally let down.
A start.
Breaking apart the shackle that is anticipation.
Everything goes, and so will this fear.
And as my soul, my blood, my sweat, my tears, I wring into form,
Perhaps,
I have what it takes to begin.
Copyright © Kama Elwal | Year Posted 2024
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