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Best Poems Written by Stella Andrews

Below are the all-time best Stella Andrews poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Cursed

Cursed
I was cursed from the moment. The sperm hit the egg
 that laid inside my mother’s womb 
I was cursed with the DNA from both sides of the family. 
I stood no chance born into the world already knowing fear and rejection 
I was cursed from the moment the sperm hit the egg 
deep with them my mother‘s womb 
I stood no chance into a family that had no morals or compassion
born into a family to be used and abused 
I was cursed from the moment the sperm hit the egg, 
nestled within my mother’s womb
born into loneliness and despair trying to breathe some different air 
not knowing right from wrong. 
The parents play a familiar song 
Do as I say as not what you want. 
I was cursed from the moment the sperm hit the egg 
Nestle with in my mother’s womb
Born into slavery. I had no chance brush aside from uncles and aunts 
abused by the very blood that my heart now pumps through my veins 
I was cursed from the moment the sperm hit the egg 
nestle deep within my mother‘s womb
born fighting to be loved to be wanted, and safe 
only to fear my very faith 
grow up, like them, or try and take the curse, 
and never suffer forever more 
at a young age to beg for death because that must be better than this
 I was curse from the moment the sperm hit the egg 
nestle deep with my mother‘s womb born, wishing to be in a tomb

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Poison

Poison 

Poison runs through my veins
 Circulating throughout my entire body
I can feel it deep in my bones
Darken every aspect of my soul
I use to have the antidote 
I use to have the will to heal 
But the poison is strong
Suffocating any ounce of hope 
Taking the flame and putting it out
Poison runs through my veins 
Circulating through my entire body
I can feel it deep in my bones
Robing me of everything 
Joy, hope, love, connection 
Feeling like I can’t breath
Suffocating within my own skin
Can’t voice what’s wrong 
How do you explain the poison
That flows within.

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Sold

Sold

To be sold by the people
Who were supposed to love you
To be sold at 
Just 9 years old
For alcohol and laughs 
To be sold 
Day after day
Why fight?
To be sold by people
Who were supposed to love you
To be sold at 
Just 10 years old
Fear filled eyes 
Scared of the dark
But can’t handle what’s in the light 
Night after night
To be sold by people
Who were supposed to protect you
To be sold at 
Just 11 years old
Losing any hope of being rescued 
They are to smart and strong
Know what to say and how to act
Facts aren’t facts
No evidence of abuse or neglect 
To be sold by someone who
Was supposed to protect you
the worlds keeps turning
But your world is dying
The will to live is faint
Alone inside 
Crying to be feee
But no one will listen
Or choose to s e
To be sold by someone who
Was supposed to protect you
To be sold at
Just 12 years old
Held down and forced to fight
300 lbs of weight
Breathing begins to shake
Arms pin down as they watch
Laughing and partaking
In the water torture 
All for what
To be sold

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

DID nightmare

DID NIGHTMARE
having Did is not all that’s cracked up to be.
Having to try to remember what you did, day to day
Having people say “ I wish I had DID” because when I don’t want to handle something I could just switch.
As if I asked to go through the torture and trauma. As if I want to not remember my life. 
The constant pain both emotionally and physically that comes from having DID. 
The exhaustion that comes from switching, the constant of having people ask “who are you” or “who am I speaking with”. And sometimes you don’t even know.
DID is not all that it cracked up to be. 
It a daily reminder of abuse, pain, body memories and feeling as if you don’t belong. 
You look in the mirror and can’t recognize your self. 
It being in years of therapy and wondering, how much longer
It is wishing that the abusers just killed you instead of living years of misery 
People don’t get the heaviness of DID.
You tell someone your a system and lots of the time their faces light up.
What the hell, why would someone get a twinkle in their eyes? 
I wish for a minute I can take a break from my entire body. Live in a body that is not constantly tight, hurting,stiff, be able to fall asleep and not toss and turn. 
Fighting a battle daily, trying to live like a “normal “ person. But just the simple life stressors makes it feel like I am climbing up a steep mountain, with no oxygen to breathe. Slowly suffocating.

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Demons

Demons
To the demons that haunt me
Do you every take a break
Or is it a rotating door
Turning up the heat
Than shutting it off
To the Demons that haunt me
Why?
Why do you insist of torturing me
Memories, flashbacks, shame and guilt
To the demons that haunt me 
What can I do to get rid of you?
Is it to take my life
Like you insist
Does it really bring peace
How do I trust you?
Your torment me here
How do I know I won’t be tormenting in the after life
To the demons that haunt me
I can’t take much more
Please have mercy on me
I try to ignore you
Tell you to  odd
Ask God to “save” me
To the demons that haunt me 
Please let me sleep
Let me rest
Stop body slamming me
I am confused I hate to believe
To the demons that haunt me
Let me breathe

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Functionally Depressed

Functionally depressed 
Got to work each day
Do what everyone wants you to do 
Say the things they want you to say 
Just to make it through another day
Mask so good even a clown can’t tell
You blend in so well
That you wonder, who are the clients and who is the worker
Living life as a functionally depressed person 
Wake up each day
Take a shower and get dressed
You don’t want anyone to know
That while you lay in bed at night 
You beg God to take your last breath
Walk to the kitchen 
Get a glass of water
It easier to swallow a handful of  aka pills
That’s supposed to help
Make you feel better 
People ask “how are you?
It almost like a song on repeat 
You can spit it out so easily
I’m good, I am ok, I had a great weekend
When really you have fallen 
Functionally depressed 
Gets what you need done
Paid the bills, food in freezer
Make plans and keep playing the game of life
But inside you are hoping
Someone will break in and end it all
Functionally depressed 
Where you take the fun
And you just Run

Details | Stella Andrews Poem

Tortured soul

Dear God
What more do 
you want from me 
the Brain You
gave me wants 
me dead
Dear God
I dont Know 
What more to do
I'm tired
I don’t have it
In me anymore 
Dear God
Please just take me
Bring me home
I can’t take
The pain anymore 
Dear God
Do you even 
Exist
I don’t know any more
I don’t feel you 
Like I use to
Dear God
I’m tired
I can’t fight anymore 
Please if you exist
Just take me home
I don’t want to breath anymore 
Dear God 
Release me please
Sign 
The torture soul