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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Dear brown eye girl I just wanted to check in with you to see how you are. I know things have been hard for you the last few years or should I say the last few decades? But it seems like you got things figured out if you don't then you sure act like you do. From loosing so many people to moving place to place. Making this friend and that friend to loosing them. Brown eye girl I know what people have asked you to do through the years. Things you thought If I don't do them then they will be gone too. The people who said that they loved you and wanted to be with you were the ones that did the most damage. But now that is all said and done with brown eye girl. Now you get to live with what life choices you made and try to move on from the wreckage. I just hope that one day you will be able to see how strong you truly are.
Love, Jesse McDonald
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Dear friend it’s been eight years since you left the world, but it seems that you have only just left yesterday. Oh, the things I still want to tell you but then again, I’m sure your other family and friends have things to say to you too. Maybe some will be good maybe some will be bad. All I know it’s things that you should be here for. Again, it still doesn’t feel like something actually happen unless I tell you about it. But you would just say “I already know that.” With that same smirk on your face, you have had since first grade. I do have to blame you for giving me a kick in the pants to get me to write. I’m sure you just laughed at that in the only way you could to make others join in. Friend, you have stayed with me even though you have left the world. You are immortalized in the poems I have written for you and the characters in the stories. Maybe the next character I create for you will have your bowel hair cut with the blond dye job. Perhaps give the character your smirk as well then again, the last character did have your good heart. One thing for sure no matter how many characters I create for you they won’t ever compare to who you were in life. I just hope when we meet again one day we’ll be able to catch up on all the things of years gone by. The first round of sodas are on me if you get the first round of pool. See you at the little store in the next life.
Love,
Jess’
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2024
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
The brown eye girl keeps feeling the nervousness and the stress. Ever so often she replays things in her mind. The things she should have said or done differently through the years. Not just those few years she thought he loved her or the years in school where she would be in the back of the class just writing away. The brown eye girl has been told to just move on with her life just forget it all. But how can she just move on with the snap of her fingers? She has done everything they say to do more times then she can count but it doesn’t help. Ever so often she feels sick to her stomach at night when she tries to sleep. The brown eye girl feels as if she always has to have a fence between herself and the world just knowing if she let it in then she’ll get hurt again. She can pin point the reason why she is like this it all comes down to one person. The person who did her the most damage for many years. He caused so much damage to her throwing her away and dragging her back again. Maybe one day the brown eye girl can over come this thing called anxiety.
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Dear Friend i know it has been years since i have wrote you. So much has happened since i wrote to you last.
I'm sure you already know about all of it. Even though I haven't wrote to you it doesn't mean that you aren't in
my thoughts. When i write a story or whatever i can hear you being snarky or just a plain smartmouth. Someone asked me
if i could go back into time where would i go? My first thought hell my only thought was to the time you were still here.
To when we met in first grade to the time we were jumping on the trampoline and i busted my bottom lip. Or to any time
we hung out and had fun. I still remember when you told a bunch of kids in grade six to bug off when i had that heart moniter on. Then you turned around and teased me asking when i will be at full charge because it looked like a car battery.
Friend so many times i wanted to just go back and warn you or just spend time with you. I feel as if i should feel
lucky you are still with me in some form. I will always think of you when i write. As either the character we created together
or the one i created for you. Friend you might have left the world but the memory of you still lives on.
always with love,
Jess'
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Today marks it the brown eye girl looks at her scar that runs down her chest. If this scar could talk she thinks to herself. Can't even image what it would say maybe how much pain it went through on that day. The brown eye girl can't remember it and she is happy about that not to remember something painful such as that. Heard stories a lot of stories of what happened that day. How her mother watched as they helped the brown eye girl, of how it was to last six hours but how she got out in half of that. Of how it freaked out her mother when the little tv went off after it was all said and done. The brown eye girl sometimes wishes she didn't have that scar growing up because of how she was made fun for it. They called her a little freak some people tried to make her feel ashamed to have something like that. Her teachers told her to hide it from everyone. But now thirty years later the brown eye girl couldn't be more proud of her scar from her open heart that saved her life.
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
She feels it again. The hooks try to grab her again they try to drag her under. The brown eye girl fights it. She tries not to look around her town everything reminds her of him; It reminds her of the man she once loved. The church down the street where they met and kissed for the first time. The sound of his voice still echoes in her head. Her heart sometimes rushes even when she doesn't think of him. The dark place tries to pull her in again by using all the stuff the green eye man did to her. The brown eye girl has done her time in the dark place she did nine months of it back in 2009. She climbed out of it once before it took everything she had. The brown eye girl doesn't want to go back to it ever again afraid if she is dragged back in she won't be able to get back out again. She won't be going back there due to him; he won't be her kryptonite.
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
This is for my uncle who I never got to meet. For my best friend whose life was cut too short. For my aunt who I learned a great deal from. This is for all those who are broken and damaged beyond repair but never gives up the fight.
For those who climbed out of the dark place one step at a time. For the families who had to watch their loved one’s struggle and couldn’t help. For those who thought they could escape reality but found themselves in even more pain then before. This is for all who also found a better way to live. This poem is for anyone and everyone who needs to read these words to know you aren’t alone.
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Afraid of her life, shaking, heart in her throat. Wanting to leave, run from her past. Her make up running down her face. Hoping no one sees her secrets hidden in her soul. She is hurting inside. The man she once loved sitting one side of her. The other side the man she cheated with. Afraid to say a word to either one of them. Wanting to run away. Her head down in her book making sure no one can see the truth in her eyes. All she wants to do is RUN!!
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
Dear Green eye man, there is so much I could say to you. Pretty much all of them are the stuff only to be thought not said out loud. The last three years I replayed a lot of things in my head. I have owned up and accepted responsibility for my part. But I know you will never do that. I guess we know who is more of an adult between the two of us. Hint it’s not you. I rebuilt myself and made myself better than I was when we were whatever the hell we were. I do have to thank you though. I know it's odd to do that but I guess I should thank you sister too for giving me anxiety. Maybe if she didn’t do that I wouldn’t be a published writer. I’ve had to learn to rely on myself more than others when it comes to a lot of things. All those years we spent together off and on wasted cause you decided to take and take instead of being the good man you pretended to be. You can keep doing that all you want, green eye man. I’ll just keep being the better person in spite of you.
When I got published my thought was I bet you would get a kick out of it but then again you always saw me as a mark or a long con to be played. I guess I finally got that answer from the question I always asked you. You know the question I always asked you when you tried to play nice guy.
I will remember the good times like the first kiss behind the old church on Washington and Bay Street. Or how you helped me get through the passing of my oldest friend in 2016. The best memory of you is that you made me feel wanted all those years. There are also bad memories also. Like how you told everyone in your family that I was a bad person. If I was such a bad person why did you keep coming back to me? Answer me that. The memories of how you asked for my trust and love when you didn’t really give me hardley any at all, I think the bad memories over power the good ones a lot of the time. Maybe one day I will think back one day and smile at the sound of your name again but that won’t be any time soon, probably not in this life time though. Maybe with the next one you’ll be a better man but I doubt it.
By,
The better person
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2024
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Jesse Mcdonald Poem
I saw him today it has been over a year and he looks the same. Bright blue eyes behind glasses and blond curly hair. As I peek through the stack of dvds I see him just looking at me. I sneak another peek at him; he smiles at me. Such a sweet smile on his face. My mom yells for me and he is gone. The blue eye curly hair man isn't there. I realize it was nothing more than a dream.
Copyright © Jesse Mcdonald | Year Posted 2023
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