An End to heart ache

Dear Green eye man, there is so much I could say to you. Pretty much all of them are the stuff only to be thought not said out loud. The last three years I replayed a lot of things in my head. I have owned up and accepted responsibility for my part. But I know you will never do that. I guess we know who is more of an adult between the two of us. Hint it’s not you. I rebuilt myself and made myself better than I was when we were whatever the hell we were. I do have to thank you though. I know it's odd to do that but I guess I should thank you sister too for giving me anxiety. Maybe if she didn’t do that I wouldn’t be a published writer. I’ve had to learn to rely on myself more than others when it comes to a lot of things. All those years we spent together off and on wasted cause you decided to take and take instead of being the good man you pretended to be. You can keep doing that all you want, green eye man. I’ll just keep being the better person in spite of you. When I got published my thought was I bet you would get a kick out of it but then again you always saw me as a mark or a long con to be played. I guess I finally got that answer from the question I always asked you. You know the question I always asked you when you tried to play nice guy. I will remember the good times like the first kiss behind the old church on Washington and Bay Street. Or how you helped me get through the passing of my oldest friend in 2016. The best memory of you is that you made me feel wanted all those years. There are also bad memories also. Like how you told everyone in your family that I was a bad person. If I was such a bad person why did you keep coming back to me? Answer me that. The memories of how you asked for my trust and love when you didn’t really give me hardley any at all, I think the bad memories over power the good ones a lot of the time. Maybe one day I will think back one day and smile at the sound of your name again but that won’t be any time soon, probably not in this life time though. Maybe with the next one you’ll be a better man but I doubt it. By, The better person