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Max Malied Poem
Suicide is selfish.
Then I am too.
How could someone leave their loved ones like that.
Because I am selfish and therefore don't deserve to live.
Don't they know how much pain they'll cause.
Less pain then I'm causing now.
Why wasn't our love enough?
Because I know you only ever said you loved me so you wouldn't feel guilty when I killed myself.
I miss them so much.
You shouldn't I only made your life worse.
I wish I could go back and tell them how much I loved them.
Don't. I wouldn't have believed you anyway.
Why didn't they reach out for help?
I did. I drank too much. I took too many pills. I tried every drug I could find. I begged for someone to save me from myself.
They had an addiction, I couldn't let my life revolve around their problems.
I couldn't let you live your life worrying about my problems.
Why didn't they try harder.
I tried for so long and just kept hurting those that loved me more and more.
Wasn't my love for them enough?
Yes, but my love for myself wasn't.
Copyright © Max Malied | Year Posted 2022
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Max Malied Poem
Someone f***ing kill me, please.
Step one to suicide, try try again. If slicing and dicing doesn’t work perhaps a bottle of pills will do the trick. Don’t forget your liquid courage to help drown out all logical thought. And always remember life is pointless.
Next Step recall all the reasons you wish you were dead. Take into account your dead-end job and lack of self-esteem, but don’t forget your infamous childhood traumas and overwhelming depression.
Add of few cries for help in there somewhere before your second attempt, that way you can whine about how no one loves you when your vision starts to blur and your breathing begins to slow.
Now, remember third time's the charm so you really have to put some extra effort in this time.
Well , ya f***ed up again, and now you can add suicide to the list of the things you can’t do right.
Considering another attempt? Well then your already doing better.
What’ll make this time different though… maybe another tactic.
You don’t own a gun, so there goes that option.
Best pills you have are Advil and with your luck, you’d throw them up.
How about starvation? Ha like your fat ass could manage.
Next ups a hanging. Please you’d break the ceiling.
How about your head in a stove? There you go, now we’re getting somewhere.
How's that work exactly?
You could take the time to research and make sure you do it right, but I doubt you will.
Let's move on, or back.
Pills again? really?
At least slit your wrist too.
Or you could be creative and go outside your room.
Maybe jump off a bridge, or drivings good too.
A quick twist of the wrist and you’ll be flying off the edge.
Remember to try try again.
But maybe this try something different.
Try to save yourself because no one else can.
So try once more to live.
Just keep trying.
-Suicide Survivor
Copyright © Max Malied | Year Posted 2022
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Max Malied Poem
One sip two sip three sip four
One shot two shot three shot four
One drink two drink three drink four
One pint two pint three pint four
One cop two cop three cop four
One try two try three try four
One crash two crash three crash four
One pill two pill three pill four
One slice two slice three slice four
One chance two chance three chance four
One knife two pints three lies
life no more
Copyright © Max Malied | Year Posted 2022
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Max Malied Poem
A black aura surrounds my nightmares.
It dances around them to remind me they're not real.
The nightmares that haunt me most have faded into the black around the edges.
Those haunt me the most because they're not just nightmares but memories.
Memories of waking up in an ambulance because the vodka hit too hard and took control of my sanity.
Memories of swallowing hundreds of pills to make the nightmares stop.
Memories I wish were just nightmares so I could sleep peacefully once more.
Black the only color in my mind as I pass out, blackout.
The color black is my best friend and worst enemy.
I beg for the day black is all I ever see again and I scream internally for help when it tries to be.
Copyright © Max Malied | Year Posted 2022
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