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Merisha Beckles Poem
You walked pass her every morning,
with the same greetings everyday.
Her heart tugged inside her- she wanted to tell you more
than “Good Morning.”
You both go to the same grocery
and pickup the identical items.
Sometimes she lay at nights-
in the apartment next to yours-
her fingers touching the wall
that separates you both-
pretending you stood there,
she trace the outline of your body.
When you had coffee in the morning-
on your favorite sofa,
next to the picture of your parents-
She thought of being next to you
sipping from the same mug
and sharing a moment together.
She secretly enter your apartment
and take pictures of every single
item you own in your apartment.
She used them to make a monument for you.
One morning when you passed her-
without the usually greetings-
She froze…
Everything inside her was stilled
She could not sleep that night.
She got up!
And started banging your door!
“He’s not at home!”
our neighbor yelled.
Next day…
No you!
Four days went…
No you!
Finally, you came back.
But not alone.
You had her next to you,
when you greeted me!
I was so hurt.
You used me!
You took advantage of me!
How dare you?!
I loved you.
She got up and started shouting at you.
“You knave!”
“You scum!”
She sat back down,
on the witness stand.
You try to hold back the tears…
But you couldn’t!
She killed you kid sister.
How could you!
She continued…
I love you,
why didn’t you love me back!
That same day as you left the court house,
You passed me.
You looked so sad.
Usually, on mornings,
whenever I saw you.
You smiled and say hello.
I found it strange.
At that time,
I knew nothing about the case.
I turned around.
I walked to meet you.
I touched your shoulder’s…
“Are you okay,” I asked.
“I live at the same apartment block
as you.” I concluded.
“My name is Isha,”
“Nice to meet you” you said.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
Darkness grip my heart-
It took all that’s bright in me.
It took all that makes me smile-
Swiftly!
Gradually, I began to fight back!
I decided to get my light back!
So, hello!
Can you com back?
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
In order to save myself from
drowning in my own feces,
I purge myself each day,
so the crap I call my life,
would not hamper me in any way.
Reality is something
I got to learn to face.
I’m no cowardice!
I love challenges!
But sometimes getting up
and reaching for the door knob
is the biggest challenge, I face
each day.
I may sound like I’m cowardice…
But think about it…
Pollution, carjacking, kidnapping, gang rape, low-pay, obnoxious co-worker, rude clients,
terrorist, racist, child pornography, human-trafficking, corruption, politicians…Dead!
I wouldn’t turn the knob today…
I’ll call in sick!
I’ll relax today…
If I do that,
I’ll miss…
Partying till dawn, getting drunk and hitting on the guy I’m too shy to speak too, baileys, sex
in the back seat of a car, orbit white bubble mint, using the internet service at work, using
office hours for my personal leisure, spying on the boss and his latest fling…
I can go,
on and on…
Good thing… this life I’m living…!
So tell me, if you can!
Why I still feel like
I’m drowning in my own feces.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
Inside of your eyes,
pain is written.
You don’t show it,
But someone knows it.
It shows visually through your body-
Its hunger!
Your mouth don’t speak it,
Your hands don’t reach out towards it,
Your stomach don’t show it,
Unless I hear it.
I don’t say it,
But I fear it...
Days spent crying yourself to sleep,
Nothing in the cupboard,
nothing in the fridge.
Pots on stove turned over.
Mummy and daddy head bent over.
Bottles on the floor,
Needles at the side.
This child has given up
.
No more tears tonight.
Another fight is lost…
Wait!
Crying…hmm....
My day never ends!
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
I poured my soul,
in a page or two-for a few-
While I release my self,
from the anguish of having to deal with my handwriting.
I poured myself from my bed; reluctant to the fact;
that I believed all the while what I wrote.
I poured my self from my life.
I tackled the purpose of how dreadful it must seem,
writing myself-
from the very purpose I tried reway from.
Dreading the moment of being ignored- or worst- Lost!
Lost beyond the valley of the desert,
or the sea of blood,
that I had poured through the funnel of my heart.
A heart which was broken,
from the time you left,
From the moment you arrived,
you only brought back pain.
Pain in which I poured out from my soul,
Into writing on this page.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
I closed my eyes
and said a lullaby...
I opened them- and every thing's
still the same.
I closed my eyes
and counted till five.
I opened them...
nothing's change.
I closed my eyes and rehearsed a line...
I opened them-
everyone was still the same.
I closed my eyes...
and this time,
I said no lullabies;
I count not!
Either was I rehearsing anything...
When I closed my eyes,
tears pour out of them.
I opened them and the preacher was saying...
'I lift up my eyes to the hills..."
Nothing's Change
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
You know what amazing…you speak of your age and me not wanting to be with you-sex wise-
But when you are hurt, you forget the million times you hurt me, constantly, on a consistent
time. I’m tired of asking you the same questions!
“Are you coming?” I would ask.
“You’re sure!” I ask again.
“Yes…! I’m coming! And if you ask me one…more… time…! I’m not coming
anywhere again!”
That’s your favorite line. You must ask yourself-How much she’ll take. Does she love me that
much? I’m tired! And fed the hell up! It’s time you take a look at yourself.
You hurt people with no remorse! No apology! No calls! Not even a simple text! I sometimes
wonder if you can read.
Try to do something!
I’m too young to put up with your BS. I don’t want anyone else… but you’re forcing my hand.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
For years I hide my face in shame,
For years I cry my self to sleep,
For years I live with all this pain….
But not today!
Today, I laugh and I cloud around,
I sing, I shout…!
I dance in the rain.
No more tears will I cry in vain,
I cry no more…
No more… ever again.
Today, I dry my tears of loneliness.
Today, I replace them with lovelier things.
Today, I washed all my fears away…
Today, I start a new chapter in my life.
Today, my love for you has gone away.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
Sweet …my tender love.
My heart has been nothing more,
but an organ in my body.
Your departure from my life,
has left it untouched by anyone.
You…who has been my every thing,
Is now gone!
My light has found its new home!
God love you more,
than I …
I know…!
You’ll be happy, in your new home.
I’ll be fine-
Don’t worry…! You are missed!
Nothing can ever replace you,
in this life I now have to live,
without you.
You… only you… have touched my heart…
Daddy…
You are missed!
Even thought I’m with him…shh…! Papa!
It’s not all blessed.
He cares for me…
He does…!
I know this!
He says I love you each day to me…
He tells me I’m in his heart always.
I know…
And he’s not in mine.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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Merisha Beckles Poem
I begun to write this,
with wicked and evil thoughts
still on my mind.
I’m second guessing faith.
Why was he taken from us?
Why so soon?
“The wicked always outlast the good,”
you used to say.
“That means I’m wicked,”
Would we live longer that he did?
That’s something only God could answer.
I cleared my mind from the negativities around me.
I began to think, as a child should.
I’m a mess, we are all…
His death came as a shock,
His life is now over,
No more worries, no more bills, no more working!
It’s his time to rest.
Close your eyes sleep…
We all have our day…
We’ll soon meet.
Watch over us,
as you have when we were smaller.
You have raised us to be
strong individuals.
So, don’t you fret too much up there!
Tomorrow is another day… life goes on.
This is your eulogy…
I didn’t describe your life
as being full and productive,
or merry and loving to all!
It tells a short story of hope and love.
“It was not too long?”
“Don’t smile!”
“It’s a sad day for our family,”
Now, I want to hear what they have to say.
Copyright © Merisha Beckles | Year Posted 2009
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