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Lakeshia M Ray Poem
“I remember before I tried meth, I asked people what it was like. They said “it’s like a burst of energy, a rush that takes your breath, it’s the best feeling ever, I don’t know how to explain it really.’ And they were right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what it’s like, I would tell them..
‘It’s like spending every single penny you ever had, on drugs.
It’s like going days without eating even though you were starving, but you needed dope more.
It’s like having to lie to every family and friend you had ever had.
It’s like waking up hating yourself from the shame and guilt.
It’s like going into withdrawals every 8 hours unless you had more dope to do. (And you usually didn’t)
It’s like never attending any family event because you were too high or too sick.
It’s like everyone eventually stopped inviting you to events. And even talking to you.
It's like crying yourself to sleep every single night because your children got taken.
It’s like knowing you have one more chance to get better before your child gets adopted and still choosing that bag.
It's like asking others how your own blood child is doing.
It's watching everyone around you succeed and yet you’re crumbling.
It’s like everything was on your drug dealers time. If they said five hours. You’ll wait five hours in a car.
It’s like stealing everything worth value for dope. No matter how sentimental it was to you, or someone else.
It’s like losing so much weight you can’t fit into any of your clothes.
It’s like losing everything you’ve ever owned in your entire life.
It’s like nobody believing a word you said, even if it was the truth.
It’s like being a prisoner inside your own head.
It’s like contemplating suicide every single day.
It’s like never being scared to die, because that’s what you wanted.
It’s like trying to shut your brain up for even five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.
It’s like seeing your family cry for you to stop, only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasn’t an option. It wasn’t possible.
It’s like you’d do absolutely anything for more. And you did.
It’s like everyone hating you no matter where you went, because they knew you were a drug addict.
You'll miss out on your children and they'll be grown before you Know it. You'd kill for your child and do any and everything for them yet you won't be able to get clean for them and we actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most.
Copyright © Lakeshia M Ray | Year Posted 2021
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Lakeshia M Ray Poem
Reflections of Your Love have come to whether I thought I've done my best to memorize all our Precious Memories a picture of Fades of you and I together did you really care care at all for me you so you shouldn't you said that you loved me and that you would never leave my side believe in is what you did that day that you walked out of my life you should have had the decency to give me up before you gave me life sometimes I feel like my life is over. All I want to do is tie cuz I'll never be able to soar high and reach the sky people tell me a kid of God's creation but then I won't sit back and wonder why does our government killers and a string how to travel Iceland cold Dark World with my black and tear fluid is in my heavy pitiful back such an awesome load wondering why do people always have to worry and why did the world always have to pass by in a hurry reflections of your love that thank the weather I thought I've done my best to memorize all our Precious Memories this poem was written for my biological mother and father is that a case of anyone that was chasing the system and never had parents that love them written by Beautiful Pain
Copyright © Lakeshia M Ray | Year Posted 2021
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Lakeshia M Ray Poem
I've had it with the misery
I live with every day
I've had it with my brokenness
That only brings me pain
I've had it with the shattered dreams
That never quite came true
And I've had it with the emptiness
I was left with after you
I've had it with the promises
That turned out to be lies
I think it's time for me to leave
Without so much as goodbye
Maybe then you'll understand
That nothing's ever free
And some things aren't worth anything
Not even memories
It's all just painful pieces
Left of once upon a time
That had no ever after
So it's time to leave the ride
I just hope that someday
You'll look back at all you've shattered
And finally see my bloody truth;
Love's all that ever mattered.
By beautiful pain
Copyright © Lakeshia M Ray | Year Posted 2021
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