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Shanice Xaba Poem
LITTLE BLACK CHILD
By:shanice Xaba
(Zulu lullaby) Thula thula thula mntwana
Thula sana, thula umama uzobuya ekuseni
Little black child
Oh innocent soul oh little black gold
I am sorry you had to face this but I
Guess your mother never expected
You to be like this, I'm sorry that your
Mother had to leave you in a dustbin
And as the weather starts to change
And when the pain starts to ache you
Remember the day you screamed and
The rain put you to sleep and you couldn't
Even breathe, I'm sorry that you had to go
Through those things.
LITTLE BLACK CHILD
I know you've never felt your mother's love
You've never felt your mother's touch
Probably because of her selfish heart
She chose to throw you rather than to mould
You.
She chose to ignore you rather then to love you
LITTLE BLACK CHILD
Oh little black child, dont worry I adore you
I admire the way you stood up strong and tall
I love the way you moulded up, the way you
Gloaded up..oh little black child will it be alright
If I admired the beauty I see in you and wait
I am not talking the beauty on the outside but
I am talking about the beauty that I see on your
Inside you know even though you are full of scars
Your beauty still outshines and I'm not lying
Little black child I wish I could make you mine
Just let me hold you close to me cause I just
Want a little black child and I dont care if you're
Covered in scars, Come on little black child let
Me make you mine let me do all the things that
Your mother failed to do oh look how I moulded
You with my poetry now can you see I just did
What your mother failed to do.
LITTLE BLACK CHILD
Please dont cry
Please just smile
Cause I wanna see you shine
Oh little black child look at you now
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
Poem: I found him, a true love story
Poet: Shanice Xaba
I found him
Right when I thought my life was over
Right when I thought my days were just getting colder
he then came and gave me a shoulder, a shoulder that I could cry on, a shoulder that I could lean on
He because my all right when I was about to fall
Never have I thought I could find someone like him in a world so small.
I found him and I love him
I love the way he always makes me smile
the way he always makes me laugh and some how I thought that
this was all just a lie, we had our ups and downs and moved pass them but I guess my heart never really forgave him.
You see he then started treating me like I was nothing, made me be beleive that I will never be anything,
God then blessed us with a son, sadly the man that I love rejected him, he called me names and I never objected that
We spoke and I lied to myself and thought that I had forgave him and then now 1 year down the line he came back to his senses, amended things
and thought that I would forget all his offenses towards me, but hey I still loved him so I went back.
I found him and I broke him
I made the worst decision by going back with a broken heart, going back with a tarnished mind,
See I tried to be kind but every time we had arguments they just take me back to that time, that time when he neglected and chose to be with her
that time when he swore at me and never wanted me near, that time when he rejected my son and told me he wasn't his, and then I started bursting out in tears, I swear I could feel my fears coming back and the anger crawling in and then it all took over me somehow I found it hard to breathe then I thought hey no this can't be me.
I found him and I hurt him
I took it out on him every time, I bashed him and that's when I saw that loving him was a crime, a crime that I am willing to pay for, a crime that I am willing to be punished for because I love him and there's no way I am letting him go.
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2023
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Shanice Xaba Poem
I'll rise
By: shanice xaba
Shvt i dont know what to say to you anymore
Wow I thought you loved me, but I see that
You have included a third party, shvt hurts
I don't wanna lie shvt bruises but I don't
Wanna die but if I have to die for you
Niqqar I don't mind
Look I loved you, i still do but
I don't need you no more
You've hurted me too much
Didn't know I loved you this
Much but I'm not surprised
You made me open my heart
To you, change my life for you
Don't get me wrong it felt good
Knowing that someone is really
There for you, but all of that
Is over now, yeah you broke
Me down and I hope you're proud
But still I'LL RISE!!
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
I must say that the 8th of January 2020 was a lucky day cause God brought into this world a very beautiful angel, perfectly made...
Dear little sister
I've been in this world for 17 years now and I must say this world has got a lot of things that will start letting you down just watch out for haters cause trust me the only thing that they would want to do is to oppress you,depress you and when they see that you're rising more they'll push you right down straight to the floor..
Oh I haven't told you about the men yet
You see you will find a guy who is just after your body,he will destroy it,use it till you're no more and then you will find the sweet one who will make you believe that he loves you more and at that time you have taken the fall..
You see little sister I just want you to find the perfect mister but I know that this will stay as a wish cause trust me in this world perfect misters dont exist you dont even get a picture if they do then they dont uplift, nowadays every man wants to pin you down,use you for your body and trust me that will bring you down...
Dear little sister
Take my words
Trust me now
Dont let anyone bring you down
Stay strong and make sure that
You fly up high and you dont touch
The ground.
Be a diamond and shine with your
Crown..
Dear little sister
I love you
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2022
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Shanice Xaba Poem
"NGENZENI NGENZENI" "AWWW BAKITHI UMNTANAMI"
"THERE IS NOTHING FOR MAHALA NANA AND YOU
KNOW WHAT TO PAY ME WITH" "MAMA MAMA VUKA"
Mmmmh that's the world nowadays
That's how cruel people in this world
Have become. Scary huh? Well It shouldn't
Be anymore, you know the only thing that
This world wants to do is to just pin us right
Down straight to the floor on wait there is more
You know there are about 80% of women who have
Not only been raped but killed and this hurts till
Right straight to my core.
Tell me what had the world taught me?
Did you know that nowadays no one helps
Anyone without anything In return?
Well all they want is young women's bodies
And money Is what they use so you can take the fall
Old married men use young innocent girls just
For those little beautiful curves
That's how it works!!
Tell me what has this world taught me?
Nowadays I cant walk on dressing freely else they will say that I'm just a freebie..tell me am I? Well that's what that guy I saw at the carwash said, I think that instead of wearing that tight skirt which showed all my curves he expected me to wear a long dress somehow I thought that I was a shame
Tell me again what has this world taught me?
Young women are killed almost everyday
Mothers are told to identify their kids bodies in every way because all that's left of it is just maybe only her beautiful hair, Scary? Well it is but I've gotten used to it
Gotten used to the fact that women are killed because of their body
Gotten used to the fact that women are raped because men want to feel satisfied then they make up a lie and say " she seduced me so I didnt have a choice" wow I mean do their lies to be justified?
Tell me what has this world taught me?
I have a little sister who is about 5 months and somehow I wish that she could just stay this young but then again I remember that in this world age doesn't matter as long as you are a woman/girl they will either rape, kill or kidnap you..
Tell me what has this world taught me?
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
POEM: You say it's Love (Part two)
POET: Shanice Xaba
Again I feel useless, again I’ve been used and abused and treated like garbage put at the side of the road being ripped apart by dogs, only this time one dog is ripping me apart and it’s been doing it over and over again and it just won’t stop.
I don’t know if it was stupidity but I thought that things would get better, yet again I write this with a broken heart tarnished mind, I write this with a heart full of love and a mind full of confusion and you still say it’s love.
Every single word from this is like every drop of blood now oozing from my head, and every tear I shed is like every heartache and fear I dread and after all of that you still say it’s love.
I still remember the colour of the bedding we had that day when he pushed me on the bed and sat on top of me and punched me till I bled, mmmh I’ve never cried like that before I never want to feel that way anymore but how do I get out of this? when the woman that gave birth to me seems to see this as a lesson to me..for what? mmmh well she says “you’ll grow” and I still wonder if she’ll ever know, know the pain that I am going through day by day my mind is the stage of a play about a young girl abused by her lover who is now the farther of her unborn child and even though she is carrying this innocent soul he just won’t stop punching her on the face and he keeps doing this like someone keeps saying replay.
When I try to open up and talk about it they say “but why don’t you just leave”? and I don’t blame them for asking me that because well they don’t know, they don’t know how hard it is to leave when someone keeps reminding you how badly and sad and painful your life will become if you try to flee and I know this cause I tried and well it ended up with a 3 way call, me, him and my earth deliverer and her saying “don’t leave, it’s gonna be okay” now that’s when I lost hope, and at night I couldn’t cope because as soon as I close my eyes I see my lover just punching me ruthlessly, and me screaming painfully.
And guess what? she still says it’s love.
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2024
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Shanice Xaba Poem
Tik tok tik tok
The clock is ticking
Time is moving
And sadly I cant stop it
Sometimes I wish that time could go back instead of moving on faster, I just want my dad to come back and hold on to me tighter.
I cant let you go
I cant just let everything flow
Daddy life without you is really not a joke
Trust me when I say I've tried to be happy
I've tried not to be messy and I've tried to let you go
But daddy I cant do it I mean I cant let everything flow.
"Your father loved you" everyone seems to tell me the same thing but I wish I could have heard those love words from the horses mouth, and hearing it from other people just weighs me down, I mean yes I know he loved me, yes I know he was a good father but I just want him to come back and tell me, tell me how much he loves me and how much he adores me, tell me how blessed he is to have me as his daughter and how blessed I am to have him as my farther.
I cant let you go
I cant let you go dad
I can't say goodbye, even after 10 years, your death will always be something I will never accept, and you dad, you will always be someone I will never forget.
ZIKHALI
SANGWENI
KHANYILE
HLONGWANE
I will always love you
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
123 456 789 sometimes I think my life is a crime
Yeah I thought about stealing dimes but I was
Too scared because that will lead me left alone
Behind bars
10 11 12 13 14 15 I regreted being born when
I was 16, mmmh funny cause now I'm 17
And guess what I dont even think I'll ever turn 18
I mean not because I'll stop growing but I just
Wont be alive to see myself becoming a young
Adult
Living a life full of regrets
It's like being alive but still not taking in any
Breath, I swear I've lived this life before
Because everything that's happening just
Doesn't seem to surprise me anymore
I wake up every day and do the same thing
And that's regretting being a human being
Yes they say everyone makes mistakes
But not everyone makes the ones that I make
Mmmh do you know how painful it is to be me
I mean right now I feel like I could relive
My life is just full of regrets and I cant even
Breathe
I cant breathe my way out of this miserable life
I can't breathe my way out of this lie
I swear right now I just wanna die
But what if I regret that too
I mean is this really what god brought
Me in this world to do?
Living a life full of regrets
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
Took it one step at a time
I'm just tryna make a rhyme
Hope I dont take much of your time
I just want you to listen to my story
Hoping it will change lives...
Dear Reader
You know I've always wanted to be a feeder
But people fed on me
I became a prey and they grabbed on me
They tossed me
Said hurtful words to me
But still I've never held a grudge on them
I continued to give them my all
Played the fool
Honestly it felt like I was drowning in a pool
Dear Reader
I hope you dont end up like me
6 feet under isnt a joke trust me
I tried pulling out a hand from
This dark hole I was stuck in
But no one was there to pull me
You know it's funny cause they got
Out of the same hole through me
See I told you never wish to be
Like me, 6 feet underground
Isnt a joke just trust me
I gave it all
Did it all
But look at where I am now
I guess I didnt notice that I gave too much
Of it all.
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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Shanice Xaba Poem
You know this life that I am living isnt what I was
Made for so tell me what am I living for
When all I feel everyday is pain and obviously there
Is no one to blame....its my fault and dont worry
I'll take the blame.
Dear mama I wrote when I was thinking of jotting down
A suicide note trust me it was my only way out
Mmmmh I've been living dangerously and everyday
It just gets harder to breathe, now I'm down on my knees
Begging god saying "please just take this pain away"
"Please dont let me die like this, dont let depression and
Anxiety take my life like this"
I still have a lot to live for and although I dont see what
I am breathing for, I still want to see the sun rise and
Watch it set right in front of my eyes.
Oh dear god can you hear me now, can you hear my
Voice screaming loudly for your name, look I just
Want you to get me out of this pain move me out of this
Place, lord I'm tired of these aches.
Let me live once more
Let me feel joy and just lay on the floor
Pain
Pain
Pain
Oh no I dont wanna hear that name
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2021
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