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Carrie Gaines Poem
The Fight
I fight with you daily
Taking pill after pill
Wondering if you will ever finally kill
Then I realize; you already have
You’ve killed my body
You’ve killed my mind
You’ve killed my ambitions, hopes and dreams
But I keep on fighting you
In hopes that you won’t kill my soul
Although you are close
You’ve stopped me from life
You’ve stopped me from having kids
You’ve stopped me from going out,
Having fun
You’ve even stopped me from caring…
About what you ask?
About my mind, my body and my life
You are nothing but trouble
Everyday that you strike
You come out of nowhere
Causing me to cry
Causing me to fight
Causing me to want to die
Who would do such a thing?
Who would cause so much pain?
Who would follow me around?
Destroying my life?
Who would do such a thing?
Endometriosis is who!
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
We fell asleep last night
In each other’s arms
I had a dream, a wonderful dream
You and the kids were standing there
This was a sight I longed to see
Our family all together
I can’t believe it finally happened
It had been so long
I thought we had all forgotten
What it was like
All the anger and hurt they had
Broke our hearts and made us sad
We all were hurting deep inside
From lies and angry words
We were all told
Together now we all forgive
Happiness has gifted us
This is how we will always live
If I wake up and it was all a dream
No children standing near
No forgiveness
Only pain
Then I shall go back to sleep
Where my dear husband,
The sweet children,
Forgiveness and love
Will always be
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
2 Years
It’s been two years now daddy
Since you left me here alone
I still lie awake and wonder
If you’ll ever come back home
Then I remember that you can’t make it
For different reasons than I wish
The next time I see you dear father
Will be when I come home to you
I still miss you more than ever
I never thought I’d make it this long
Without you guiding me and encouraging me
With everything I do
You have never judged me for anything
No matter what I have done
You have always been my hero dad
For that I regret never saying
I am thankful for the time we had
But am greedy for the time we don’t
I will never get over losing you
I will always wonder why
I will always lie awake and cry
And wonder often times why you had to die
I have asked God why he took you
Why didn’t he take me instead?
I always felt like he slipped up
And got the wrong one instead
I know there is a reason
You left me way too early
I do not think I will ever get it though
Nor, will I ever accept it
There are so many things
I don’t understand
When I look at your picture
By my bedroom wall
You give me the answers
And the strength
To withstand it all
I love you daddy, and I miss you every day. We will meet again and you can hold me like
you always did when I was little. Only this time I will not wither out of your arms.
Happy Birthday Dad!
R.I.P. Larry Wagoner 12/19/1956 – 12/19/2006
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
When she begins to cry
You stay up with her
Talking
And comforting
All night
When she laughs
You are there
Taking it all in
Never letting go
From where it began
Her smile melts you
No matter what age
She will always be
That little girl
She was given to you
By God one day
She has so much to offer
And so much to say
Don’t ever let go Chad
Always hold her near
You never know
What tomorrow will hold
Some days have been missed
Some days have been skipped
Some good, Some bad
Always remember
Ashlee is
Your daughter
Your gift
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
We are all born innocent
We are all created with ease
God has great plans for us
Yet we see nothing but greed
The hatred we carry
For those around
Will never help us grow
It will only tare us down
We are all born innocent
Why do we let things turn ugly
We have choices to make
We are all in a hurry
No matter what choice we make
God will still take us in
As long as we make it ok with him
And continue on home
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
The happiness
The gladness
The cheerfulness
The sadness
All a part of life
We feel everything
We feel good
We feel bad
We feel nothing at all
All a part of life
We feel laughter
We feel humored
We feel glee
We feel happy
All a part of life
We are sad
We are angry
We are scared
We are jealous
All a part of life
All feelings aside
We are all human
We have too many feelings
To keep them locked inside
They must be let out
Or we will explode
All a part of life
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
There is nothing that we can say
to make us feel at ease;
We will miss you dad,
more than anyone could see.
We know that there were times
that we did not get along;
There were words we may have spoken
that weren't meant to be;
But we all knew what we truely felt
and that was our father/daughter love.
Remember when you married mom?
We have more great memories of you
like the one of Rose and the hog,
and Sport with the rubber roo's.
Those are just a few of the great
things to remember of you.
Growing up was tough for us
because you weren't always there;
But now we see that was not
the way you had it planned;
Things happen for a reason
no matter what they may be.
We know you love us daddy,
and are always proud.
You will be missed sweet father;
What we wouldn't give
for one more hug and kiss
or to be able to say
"we love you daddy"
instead of you being missed.
We will never forget You!
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
They almost lost their chance
At being together…
But they apologized
They forgave each other…
From the first time we met
I looked into your brown eyes
I knew from that moment
It was only going to be you
We have had so many good times
We have had our fair share of bad
But the future holds so many things
That say we should stay together
After all the hopeless days
After all the hopeless fights
I have realized that we have
made some huge mistakes
Our devotion is not just an emotion
It is something we both give to each other
Each and every day
This is why we stay
Give us more time and…
All hurts will stop
All love will grow
All laughter will flourish
All tears will dry
I will love, honor, and trust you
I will never doubt you again
I will always put my faith in you
I know this will never end
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
Why cant I do anything right?
Why do I always cause the fights?
Why do I make him hate me?
Why do I always hurt him?
I don’t wan to screw things up
I don’t want to fight
I don’t want him to hate me
I don’t want to hurt him
I always mess things up
When things are going great
I always mess things up
No matter what I try not too,
But I always screw things up
My life is wasted
All I do is hurt
Nobody loves me anymore
They only hate now
I can’t go on like this
I need to run
I need to hide
I need to fall…
Fall so that nobody sees me…
Fall so that nobody misses me….
Just fall off the face of the earth…
I’m sure nobody would notice
That’s not what I want
I want to live
I want to have a life
I want to have that with him
I want to be his wife
I want to move away
Taking him and his children
Take them all away from this mess that we call “home”
I want to move away
So that we don’t have to worry anymore
So we don’t have people stalking us
I love him more that life itself
I miss him when he’s gone
I hate the thought of losing him
It would kill me if it came true
I can not live without him
Not after all this time
I wish to make it through this
Just like all the other times
We’ve been through things way worse than this
Can’t we just have one more try?
I need you in my life, Chad
Or I will be no more.
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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Carrie Gaines Poem
The love in your heart
As you hold and embrace
My eyes opened wide
Looking up at your face
My love for you lies
In a place I can go and
Always feel safe
Even if you’re not near
All day long
I thank God
For the days that we spend
Becoming best friends
My husband
My love
My whole world
Hold me near
Copyright © Carrie Gaines | Year Posted 2009
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