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Best Poems Written by Christopher Allen

Below are the all-time best Christopher Allen poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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My Son Wants To Talk About Tooth Decay

we're in a cafe and he's unsure if he can
finish his slice of CAKE, one of those 
fondant numbers and so we've made an arrangement
which will allow me to consume half of it
but then, "dad, i actually think i can finish it."

i get a message from a friend asking how are the kids today
i reply like what i make of the french revolution; 
it's too early to tell

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

Conducting An Imaginary Orchestra In the Passenger Seat

i've seen it several times
someone motioning, flourishing
waggling, swinging, curving
hunching, moulding, stooping
pulling shapes, a twirling
a form, a delineation, shadows
fingers, tree branches, winding creeks
sometimes a head inclines 
obstructing the cityscape
what are they listening to?
what are they talking about?
we've done it, we've become greenwood
sometimes a jungle
i've done it alone after dropping you off 
cold storage becomes publicised 
i've done it
i've done it, yes, i've cried in
the car 
alone

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do cows like mints?

they do
and sheep possess concentration levels
that allow them to watch television
which is extraordinary
and so is broccoli 

i like polo mints
my daughter calls them doughnut mints
her favourite book is called 'stop that cow'
which involves a 357 mag with an 8-inch barrel

a pig in a forty-nine dollar wig 
the agitated cow asks, "you wouldn't happen to have
a pack of cigarettes." 
the guinea hog replies, "i don't smoke."
"i didn't think so." 

i met my best friend in a cafe
he told me statistics mean nothing

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The Cloud Appreciation Society

have you heard of the cloud appreciation society?
Jesus Christ
cloud spotters
points for clouds
you got ya stratocumulus
I just saw a cumulus congestus tower
thirty points for that
fifty-five points for stacked plates
kelvin-helmholtz
sundogs
rainbows
pyrocumulus
smoke from the kettle counts
one bloke submitted steam from his fried sausages
crematoriums are out I said
some of them disputed my evaluations 
I've got the handbook I told them
I understand the science of the sky
one said we should have cloud spotting VAR
I told them sod it then

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

Great Dumbledore Quotes

now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food
now there's a man who likes his food

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

During the Job Interview, I Was Worried the Interviewer Hadn'T Heard Fire By Bruce Springsteen

his nose was distracting
but so was mine
i listened to it ; in the car on the way
there
the bass was in my brain

what if he'd never heard it?
the questions kept coming
questions about
stuff 
thinking about the book of judges
i saw paintings  

i followed him home
hid beneath the window pane
but heard nothing

i didn't get the job

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

I Shared a Kurt Vonnegut Lecture With My Students and They Beamed

They call it the Sunday Scaries
They call it the Bubble Visualisation Exercise 

I felt the polished wood of my table 
The softness of my son's hair

My pencil snapped when I started my Gratitude Journal
Turn to the person next to you and tell them about a teacher

As loud as God unzipping his fly
Sat in the back not being able to find the steering wheel

They laughed
They were charmed

The shapes of stories
The shapes of restfulness and well-being

My son is playing piano as I write this
I'm going to stop writing 

If this isn't nice, I don't know what is

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

After Teaching Romanticism I Want To Join the Circus

we pass through the gates
we pass the kindergarten with it's colourful play area
we pass the primary school with the din of laughter 
we pass the middle school with the hubbub of whirlwind psychosis 

we are hit with the high school building
we are hit with wild landscapes
we are hit with fickle wassails
we are hit with hoodoo troopers

i teach Wordsworth 
there's always something missing
we come from a world that is more heavenly 
our childhood happened to someone else

i''m going to give up poetry and teaching
and go into clowning

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

My Son Asked To Read That Story With Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Pizza

My son draws images 
On a scroll-like object 
Storyboarding
At the age of five
He is learning that time is linear
When it isn't
He loves his watch 
How it lights up
Slowly he is learning 
Routine
The phases of the moon
Get your shoes on
We're going to be late

But his little sister doesn't
Know 
For her
Everything is happening at the same time

Take me back to the 
Cretaceous Period
It must have been 
Quieter 
Than 
My living room

Details | Christopher Allen Poem

I Wanted To Write a Poem Using Heroic Couplets, But I Dunno What They Are

there's a bloke i know, who keeps going on
about his bowels
but besides that, i am attempting a poem
which uses meter effectively
you know, so it has rhythm and stuff
and subtle 'feminines' at the end of iambic pentameter
so that it creates something
but i haven't got the time for this
like watching a peter jackson movie, sitting
there
in the cinema, thinking..."i've got stuff to be getting on with."