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Best Poems Written by April Willcox

Below are the all-time best April Willcox poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | April Willcox Poem

Chasing Time

It constantly feels like I am chasing time
Time which is so linear.
It’s like the days are not long enough,
Even if I get up early.

It constantly feels like I am losing time
Time which exists in threes.
Like the birth, life and death of the trees.

The past which was,
Has been.
That we mourn.

The present,
The now,
Time that’s not worn.

The future,
Not yet,
Waiting still.

For the famous trio
To pass me the bill.

The bill which is a reminder,
That these days are limited.

It constantly feels like I am wasting time.
Time which isn't forever.
Still I waste it with this rhyme
To make me sound clever.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Calculated Conclusions

All the figures and indices,
Just like algebra,
Solved with ease.


Like putting a capital,
At the start of each sentence.
It almost seems sagittal,
There is no repentance.


The square, and rectangle,
Have similarities, 
Triangles in a mangle,
circles capabilities…


Acids and Alkalis,
Confused hypothesis.
All experiments,
Carefully analysed.
Just an apophasis.


Tap or street,
Graceful Ballet.
In time to the beat,
Routine is underway.


You step on a major,
Start your solo,
In direct danger,
Mute the audio.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Un Homme Dans Le Coin

Je ne comprends pas pourquoi j'entends des voix
Pourquoi crie-t-il à moi
Pourquoi veut-il faire du mal à ma famille?
Pourquoi je pleure
Pourquoi parlent-ils en retour?
Pourquoi dois-je purger
Pourquoi est-ce que j'ai une envie?
Couper,
Blesser les autres?
Pourquoi suis-je délirant
Pourquoi me disent-ils de me punir
Pourquoi veulent-ils que je sois fou?
Pourquoi suis-je en train de devenir fou?

Details | April Willcox Poem

Parmnesia

Fall back into lucidity,
A surrounding
Where there is no such thing as clarity.
The power that is confounding.

Your world is confused and distorted,
Nothing in order,
All is unsorted.

The only certainty,
If any at all,
Is that of absurdity
Seemingly informal.

You abruptly arouse,
Only to find yourself falling.
You continue to drowse,
Suddenly you’re crawling.

Living? Or dreaming?
Hearing voices,
Why are you screaming?
‘Make the right choices’

Only to realize they are lying,
you’re going insane.
They say ‘give up’
‘Stop trying!’

Something is wrong…
With your brain, that
 not even, professionals can explain.

You haven't got psychosis,
Or schizophrenia.
It’s like an uncomfortable sensation,
like dysesthesia.

What’s wrong with you?
Why are you sad?
There’s nothing anyone can do.
But feel bad.

Fear the worst…
Of going mad.

They pin it to your past,
They call it trauma.
Each day might be your last,
You tried to warn her.

All the signs, 
And warning.
Cutting lines,
Evening and morning.

Still they want more.
To rid your soul,
So you purge,
It’s under control.

You get more of an urge,
To draw shapes,
On a perfectly clean wrist.
The sharp drags as it scrapes,
The voices assist,
The veins are just missed.

Your mind is confused,
A little twisted.
Your heart is bruised,
Emotionally restricted.

But that is how you want it,
Until you finally commit….

suicide.

Details | April Willcox Poem

More Than Once

It got worse each time,
But was always intrusive.
Inside and out you would climb.
Until you were fully protrusive.

First time was all hands,
Then you moved down below,
I listened to your demands
I didn't want the bruises to show.

He only had a little touch,
A bit too low,
and I didnt care that much,
He said he was sorry and he didn't know.

Just like the time we passed on the landing,
The moment was seconds but lasted forever.
Your hand knocked- just a “misunderstanding”,
Like that time we were left in the kitchen together.

Then one night he laid by my side,
My neck he kissed, then licked, then kissed another.
He held my waist with pressure applied,
With hands under the duvet cover.

I layed there frozen scared,
While I felt your erection,
But it was clear you never cared,
Against my back there was an inappropriate affection.

Your winding legs encased around mine,
A hand held my mouth, a scream you wouldn't risk.
Your cold fingers walked down my spine,
As you counted each intervertebral disc.

Under the duvet you removed my clothes as you got ready to embrace,
Although my head was in line with your chest
You turned me around so we were face to face,
One hand on your  the other on my breast.

I layed there tense while you masturbated,
I cried quietly to try and not make a fuss.
I felt powerless in this moment so just waited,
I could feel warmth and moisture between us.

All your once valued morals and kindness you had deserted,
You made us face each other naked in my bed,
It wasn't until this night that you fully inserted
You pushed yourself against me and grabbed my head.

With only my hair you pulled me up against my wall,
As you put your cold fingers in and out, I accidentally peed on my feet.
You showed your strength- I felt powerless and small.
Now standing like a child, I admitted defeat

“They won't believe you”
“They will all think you're lying”
“We can know it's true”
“But you might as well stop trying”

It went on for a while,
My tears escaped as I squinted.
you continued to thrust away,
your hands and face imprinted. 

The 23rd was the last time,
This one was the worst,
You physically held me down and caused pain.
You penetrated and spoke to me in a voice i still hear today.

I hope you know I am permanently damaged
By your little urges and temporary pleasure,
you know in my mind you keep me trapped
While you are abroad living and allowed to leisure.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Drowning

Drifting through this ocean of life, alone without a hand.
Reaching desperately for help, with envy for dry land.
Only dark seas in sight, and not a thing to eat.
Water fills my icy lungs, while I frantically kick my feet.
Near to death, far from humanity.
I can hardly think straight, I'm bordering insanity.
Nearly out of oxygen, running out of air,
Going under slowly as I'm tangled in my own hair.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Worth the Fight

Grow flowers from all your rain.
you have helped me grow mine.
Keep fighting through your pain,
remember it's alright not to be fine.

As much as we are the same 
We are different too 
Our beauty lies within 
What an astonishing view.

Sometimes it is in a dark place 
Sometimes it hides,
Many days we want to cover our face,
As we get swept beneath our tides.

This beauty of yours, It is not just your reflection, 
This beauty is in your mind and heart 
And cannot be defined by your loss or rejection.

Please see the signs 
Please find the clues 
The true beauty of today 
The true beauty of you 
Is who you are deep down 
And all that you have been through.

Your life is worth much more than those drugs or a drink,
I know it is your escape when you feel alone at night
And all you can do is overthink.

Yes it gets hard,
And yes giving up seems right,
But believe me Kira, 
You are worth the fight.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Getting Bad Again

We have all noticed that things are getting bad again,
I know things will get better, but I don't know when.

While clutching at my arm
As my blood transfused
I first pressed the alarm
Struggling to find the door 
while I felt confused
I never intended to give Abby a fright,
And only on my second night.

While the ants crawl in and out of my minds maze,
I decide to wander through the night and stargaze.
I felt a calmness and peace until I went to leave,
Little did I know that my own ears would deceive.

Jack is who I heard, 
he came from behind,
As those awful memories reoccurred,
With the infestation combined,
I had to physically shake them away.

But simply shaking wasn't enough,
These thoughts and feelings were big and tough.
Needed to bang them all out of my head,
If there was any hope of returning to my dreaded bed.

On the icy concrete for a while I lay,
Right before red met with gray.
I don't hesitate, until reality withdraws,
Just continued to pound my head 
But then I pause…

My mind is extremely loud, 
As I become isothermal,
I feel so stupid and far from proud,
Realizing the gravel is now intradermal.

Staggering to my door,
Trying to contain my insanity, 
I chuck my things down to the floor,
To return to a different reality,

All I can say is I am sorry it went wrong and I am sorry Yvonne. 
I didn't mean to shock you or make you upset,
I never want anyone to think I am going to hurt them or am a threat.

I hope you understand that things will be better once I settle,
And chances are, things will be even better once I descale my old kettle.

Details | April Willcox Poem

Ya Know

Each visit was looked forward to,
Always new flavoured sweets,
For me to chew.
Whether it was chocolate,
Or Haribo,
Anything will do,
We were desperate ya know...


We went to the park.
On the swings,
Until dark.
When I wouldn’t show.
I was scared ya know…


He always came round,
And made nice dinners.
Though in the background,
A cast of sinners.
Objects he’d throw,
But I kept it quiet, ya know…


He kept us safe,
So it looked.
He was our raphe
Although was brooked.
He would always come,
But never go,
It was just accepted, ya know…


Locked in the bathroom,
Just want to cry.
I must stay quiet,
Must lie.
Always, now, feeling so low,
It will all be fine..., ya know…


That lonely feeling,
No one to help you,
No time for healing.
Hide the shade of blue.
The days get more slow,
You’re giving up, ya know...

Details | April Willcox Poem

Red

In the middle of the night I ran myself a bath.
I sat on the ledge with my feet in. 
I sigh as I look down at the familiar blade in my hand.
I stare for a moment at my body and wonder if there is any room left.
The outside of my lower legs look clean and inviting. 
I suppose I will just have to wear trousers for a while. 
God forbid I offend anyone with these red lines of mine. 
I set myself the boundaries of which I bleed. 
Starting at the ankle and going no further than the knee. 
I try to keep the water clear, but it insists on being red. 
So there I sit in a bath of bloody water before I return to my bed.
Blade next to me, in case a new spot becomes available.
Or in case HE comes to mind and the feelings become unbearable