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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Suffusion of sadness so tender,
What I yearn for lies inside.
In bed you await me,
Together we will hide
from those who think we have a choice
Or that one day you'll be gone.
Believe you to be transient
A bus I can hop off and on!
I marvel at the swell of you
So familiar yet never the same
I know you'll never leave me
Nor your power ever wane.
In bed I shiver with anticipation
For you're my only truth
All else is farce, and only in your arms
Can I cry as I did in youth.
Accepting life would mean losing you
So that line will never be crossed.
Pain, my faithful, constant lover, Pain:
All that remains from what I've lost.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Ceaseless demands
each one a folly
To which I respond
my answers jolly
Lesson time
Minds are weary
Endless chopping
Meals so healthy
Shopping ordered
Food a plenty
Excursion time
To burn the energy
Fall from tree
call emergency
Lost child
Panic temporary
Sibling bickering
I Chide impatiently
Bath time soon
Wet and slippery
Brushing teeth
No help from me
Each to sleep,
Cuddling frenzy
Stealthily creep
To bed with mummy
Waking together
Hour so early
Getting dressed
Uniform ready
Breakfast now
Clothes grubby
An hour to spare
Time to go crazy
I love to join in
Childish levity
Forget the time
Need to be hasty
Unbrushed hair
That’s got sticky
Scramble for bags
For each activity
Unkempt they go
To school so happy.
T`was all in a day, but a day long gone.
Though in that house
Shadows of our former selves,
Forever shall live on.
William kekaula all in a day 09/09/2020
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
My flesh is screaming,
if the cancer is me,
Then cut me out
and set me free.
No more to endure
The sight of the shore,
While drowning capsized out at sea.
If I let myself go,
limbs aching and slow,
So close to that shore,
Then no more I’ll know
Of those I have missed
Of faces unkissed
Of drowning in tears of sorrow
But to them I will pass,
a pain that will last
Forever they’ll sail,
B’neath skies overcast.
A hurt so deep
A pain they'll keep,
My drowning will anchor them fast.
So tethered am I
to what I'm denied,
A childless mother
I must abide
By rules so cruel
Yet love is the fuel
And from drowning I shall not have died.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Tansy Roekaerts
12:35 AM (12 hours ago)
Mirage
With eyes as parched as the desert I travel,
I thirst for my loss, yet do not unravel.
The sun it scorches with merciless rays,
Though heart not skin it brutally flays.
My life before me: a vast expanse,
Empty and scorched infernal sands.
Traveller dropped in foreign terrain,
Totally wrecked, blindsided by pain.
‘Not all is lost’, swears false apostle,
So now I believe, for relief so colossal
Gleams right ahead in sparkling silver,
Joy so intense, my tears form a river:
Our faces awash, in joy so sublime,
I feel such hope, imagining what's mine
Returning to me. That long cool sip
Shimmers ahead, into relief I'll dip
A desire so great. I count the days,
Striving to reach that scintillating haze,
So full of promise, till deceived I fall -
Nature lies too. Still their names I call.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2021
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Superstitious tongues childhood blights
Exorcisms and voodoo fill his nights
A cursed birth, a an evil within
Only he knows that the devil is him
How else can a child so bright
Make sense of such a plight?
No spell can cast his evil out
But leaves him scarred
and in no doubt
That those who care are mistreating him:
Youthfulful belief had him filled with fear
Now he knows that those he held dear
Saw only the power his shadow could weild
Untramelled knew not his mind is a sheild
hes the founder of a design business lo and behold!
Recessions see it fail, misery round the world
But each time anew, his charismap so bold
Saw business and enterprise for him unfold
"Mind razor sharp
Strategy got me through
Both violence and crime
And a degree or was it two.
The devil within had a different plan
Twas but disease afflicting the man
Who every adversity had over come
Stronger than me, not a single one
" I fought for my place
I fought to the top
Even when hopeless
I fought left to rot
They can take it all:
faith in my father
hollow loyalty
Gone is my eye but
never clearer I see:
No place on earth now
Is safe for me, trusting and
Loving no more I allow
Family and friends I disavow
To live is to sufffer
And pain has no end.
Trials far tougher
Just round the bend
Now love turns to hate
As delusions grow
My hurt so great
Hurt I cause less so
Promise of tomorrow?
, that I have none
No feelings of sorrrow
Just safety of my gun
Behold and shiver!
My venimous rage
a deadly viper
... I spring from cage
My tongue whip smart
Knows just what to do
A future in which I'll play no part
Or so I thought but things do cbange
What I did is done, but life is strange
And the carnage I caused can be erased.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
The soundless scream of my tortured pain,
The story of which I cannot explain.
Ashamed of my needs, yet I want them met,
Manipulative, deadly, pointless threat.
Blind is the audience, macabre is my dance,
Forced to perform by a body in trance.
Those gilded rays that pierce the skies,
Striking gold clouds that light up our eyes,
Lancing their radiance down to earth,
Who am I to ask what life’s worth?
Surely, will I in time comprehend
This punishing life that I never penned:
This tree that snakes out endless roots
Invading its prey to leave poisonous fruits?
Love and joy calcified in my veins,
Stuck in a rut of regret and pain,
I tear at my flesh to uproot the tree,
I can no longer: the tree is me.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2021
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Mind is racing
Limbs are aching
I feel the end is nigh
All alone in night unending
Time a torturous lie.
Brain fermenting
Thoughts fragmenting
Shatter in glass shards
Fingers soon to dust returning
Hold fast my deck of cards
Fear is mounting
Heart is pounding
I know the end is nigh
My sight long gone, still I see
Those shards light up the sky
Children laughing
Old friends calling
From a distant shore
Mem’ries of a life unsparing
And a time that is no more
The time it passes,
through the darkness
With teeth so sharp pain bites
Missive from cassandra spinning
Prophecy I cannot fight.
Life and loving
True belonging
No more need I pretend
Gave life a go, decried its blows,
My hand I played to the very end.
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Oh how I wish I wasn’t me,
Buta glorious master of the sea,
Whose sails have caught a steady wind
but I've dropped anchor
for I have sinned
Judgement now must soon be cast,
Much longer here I may not last,
As sky and sea start to encroach
Clouds build and gather
In dark reproach.
I turn my gaze at human kind
So much to love in them I find.
Deftly around the rocks they steer
Helping the ones that stray too near.
As do the souls that pass me by,
they fear my death and so they try;
They do not know, they cannot see
The anchor’s lodged in the soul of me
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Joyful, resentful, demanding and loud
The past is a place, where I felt defined
Pain I wear it an invisible shroud
I’ll take to my grave, unless I can find
That time that I colored to lend it weight,
Bright little boxes, for fear we be late.
Unthinkable that time could lose its hue
Fading with it all I held to be true
Time now weighs heavy, a mantle of lead.
Time then so light so quickly was it spent
Paying no heed to my disease so spread
Till I was left, or was it me that went?
Once was mother, but alas no more,
I have lost my voice, but inside I roar
09/09/2020
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2020
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Tansy Roekaerts Poem
Now once again this pain so raw,
End so abrupt, the parting so sore,
Wanting but failing to force open the door.
Breathing is laboured, gone is my healh
Each part of me stolen forever by stealth.
Grimacing with pleasure, that gargoyle face,
Inventing the need my past to disgrace,
Never revealing its purpose, nor why,
Naked the flame of hope left to die .
It’s hard to believe that I still stand,
Not brave, not strong but surely damned.
Gave it my all, till it all fell apart
Still I survive, so again I shall start.
27/01/21
Copyright © Tansy Roekaerts | Year Posted 2021
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