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Vera Rice Poem
She wore a whole suit of armor around her heart and soul that nobody could come through to cause her fear, suffering, and pain, she wouldn't have it let alone permit it to happen so she never let people see to the heart of her soul.
She first started wearing the suit of armor as a child, she continued to keep it polished and strong all of these years it had worked like a charm. Family, and friends all thought they knew her heart, soul, thoughts, and feelings.
But the truth of the matter is nobody really knew her at all, they were just trying to tell her how to think and feel because they thought they were so smart. She thought it was funny at how they assumed that they knew her when in truth they didn't, all thanks to her polished strong suit of armor that she wore.
She believed with her whole heart and soul that nobody would ever come past her polished strong suit of armor that she wore, she found out just how naive she really was one day.
It just wasn't anybody no this person was the only person who has always had her heart from their very first meeting of each other, she continued to try and keep her suit of armor polished and strong even though she was with her love.
But to her greatest surprise and dismay, she didn't notice anything wrong until it was way too late, her love had already put a crack in her polished strong suit of armor that she wore to protect herself with. No matter how much she tried she couldn't fix the crack in her polished strong suit of armor that she wore, the damage was already done and her love had already seen through to her heart and soul.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
Who am I? I really don't know who my real self is, I have been locked up inside of myself with no way of escaping and no way to cry out for help either. Because my voice won't work and nobody can hear it, because it's buried really deep inside of me.
My real self has been locked all my life, I never got to meet my real self. My family saw something inside of me that must have scared them because they were the ones who locked up my real self. They even gave me rules to obey and follow without asking any questions, the first rule I learned was 'you are not allowed to feel anything.'
It still sometimes feels like it applies even now, then the worst thing happened to me it was the day my prison door was shut and locked forever. I can never escape it because I don't have the power, then I found out that it was only going to get even more horrible for me.
My family gave me a title that I don't want and I despise it whole heartily, that title is 'I'm a good girl who does what she's told.' I have tried to escape many times over the years but to no avail, they always found me and returned me to my prison. Even now they still make sure that my prison door is safely locked, I don't think my family wants me to become one with my real self.
I think their sacred of my real self that's why they locked her up, I can hear her screaming to be set free from my prison door. I everyone sees is really just a shell of my real self, that my family locked away and threw the key away.
I think their sacred that if my real self was set free because they wouldn't be in control of me anymore. They wouldn't be able to manipulate me anymore either like they have been doing to my shell of my real self all my life.
My family would lose their personal playtoy and that makes them scared of my real self if she ever got free of my prison door that they locked her up in. By: Vera Rice
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
I knew I loved you before I knew you were to be born, I made life long promises to you before I knew you were to be born. I just couldn’t imagine just how much I would love you at that time until the day you were born, the moment I found out that I was going to be a mother I was shocked at first but when the shock wore off I was beyond joy.
I couldn’t wait for the day that I would finally meet you, to hold you in my arms, to kiss your beautiful head and to rock you to sleep. I was scared about breast breastfeeding you because of how top-heavy I am, so I decided to bottle feed you instead.
I took parenting classes to make sure that I would know how to care for you, I want you to have a better life then I did growing up. I will make sure that you do because I’ll make sure with all of my power that you do have a better life than me.
I’ll get you whatever you want and need all you have to do is ask me, you are my special and precious little baby girl. You claimed my heart for your own when you were born.
By: Vera Rice
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
When I kissed your hand my heart was finally complete, when you looked up at me with your beautiful eyes my whole world was lit up bright. When I heard your cry it was the sweetest music to my ears I won't let anyone have you or hurt you, I will always protect you no matter what.
I knew from the beginning that I loved you and I will always be there for you, I want you to know that you can tell me anything I will always listen to you no matter what so don't ever be afraid to tell me anything.
You look like an angel you feel like one also, you will always be my sweet angel, please don't ever forget that my beautiful baby girl. I will always fight for you no matter what, your life will always be sweet I'll make sure of that my beautiful baby girl. Even if I have to hurt someone over you I will that is mommy's biggest ultimate promise to you, my beautiful baby girl.
I love singing, dancing and reading to you as well as hearing you sing to me, you have a beautiful voice that makes mommy want to cry. Your a very smart, bright and gorgeous girl who makes her mommy proud everyday. I can tell you a lot but I know you don't want to hear it, so I will only say one thing to you, I love you my beautiful baby girl when I kissed your hand.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
She first met the love of her life at the sweet tender age of twelve, he was a sixteen-year-old country redneck .of a young man. She had worked up the courage to tell him her name but on that one small ounce of courage, she didn't only tell him her name she told him a full dialogue of her life.
Embarrassed with herself she turned around and walked away from him, telling herself that she was an idiot figuring that he would never want to talk to her at all. For her it was love at first sight, to her surprise after a week he started talking to her, what's more, he was having her deliver his love letters to his girlfriend. Until one day he gave her a letter not for his girlfriend but for her, her heart skipped a beat when she went home.
The letter was short and straight to the point it said, 'Do you like me? Because I like you check yes or no.' It was a dream come true for her so of course, she checked yes, they started going out with each other until her mother found out about it and spilled them up.
The last time she saw him was on her front porch where they danced, kissed and he told her that he loved her. It was eleven years later when they met up again, she had already had a daughter by an ex-boyfriend who kicked them out for a neighbors wife.
They started dating again and now they have been together for four years, at first everything was going great and then he started to change. He now wants to have another woman join them in their bed because that is what he is used to, she doesn't want that but she'll do it for him to make him happy. Her happiness is just being with him and having her daughter also, but sometimes he makes her doubt his love for her. On more than one occasion he told her that he couldn't picture his life without her, he went one step further once by saying if she walked out of their house he would chase her and hunt her down because she means the world to him.
She believes him to a degree but at the same time, she has her doubts about what he says because he has already repeatedly broken her heart and almost her spirit with it. She might just put him to the test one day.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
She pretends to be alright when in truth she isn't, her smiles are fake so no one will ever know how deeply depressed she really is. All her life she has been beaten down constantly one. way or another, by her family and by life it self.
Some how she always managed to get right back up and continue to keep on living, even when she repeatedly been to hell and back. She's been abused mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually by her family.
Still she manages to continue getting right back up, even through life keeps trying to beat her down repeatedly. So e friends have told her that she is one strong woman.
Residents at her job have told her that no matter what personal problems she endured at home, she never let them affect her job. They said she always had a smile on her face, even through deep down inside she is constantly asking herself how much more does she have to suffer before she finally decides to just give up completely.
By:Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2022
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Vera Rice Poem
You must be laughing your head off at me thinking I'm so stupid that I don't know what is really going on, sorry to bust your little bubble but I know what is exactly going on. You only told me that you have a job to do in Alabama but you haven't told me that you will be gone for four whole days.
You must think that you pulled the wool over my eyes think again, I know everything that you have been up to this whole entire time. I know you are planning on sneaking off with your ex girlfriend to have sex with her, I know you are planning to have sex in Alabama also.
You forgot that your accounts are on my phone and that I can read everything your texting and planning on doing, you begged me not to leave you. You begged me to come home from Ohio, you told me that you choose to be with me when your ex girlfriend made fun of me.
You said she mad you so mad that you quit talking to her, but it was all a bunch of lies. I have showed you time and time again that I trusted you, well I don't trust you anymore and I don't believe a word you say to me anymore. I was so happy, overjoyed and flying on cloud nine when you said that you choose to be with me.
You say you can't picture your life without me, bullcrap I don't believe you. Because if you really can't picture your life without me you wouldn't be sneaking behind my back to have sex with your ex girlfriend or to have sex in Alabama. You would be showing me how much I truly mean to you, instead all you do is sneak around behind my back and tell other women how beautiful they are how sexy and how much you want to have sex with them.
I can't remember the last time you told me how beautiful I am or how sexy I am or even how breathtaking I am to you. I can't even remember the last time you told me how lucky you was to have me in your life. How much I meant to you, all you care about is your own pleasure not once have you ever tried to pleasure me.
When we have sex it's all about you needs, wants and pleasure, I give you more blow jobs than you have ever eaten me out. I don't complain about it anymore and I haven't in four years now, I don't ask you to eat me out either because you pop off at the mouth that is this the only thing I want you to do. So I quit asking for it four years ago, I give you a blow job and then I roll over to suffer being turned on by giving you head.
You don't know how badly I suffer from wanting to have release of my very own, and hurt so badly knowing you don't even think about pleasing me. Oh you think about pleasing other women but you never think of pleasing the one you have in your bed, home and who has always been there for you when you would go to jail time after time.
I'm about worn down and tired I don't know how much more I can take of this, you tell me all the time that I only think of myself and it's not ture I think more of you than you really know.
I wished that sometimes I really would only think about myself instead of always thinking about you, I clean house, I do laundry, wash, folding and putting up your clothes. I give you everything and you never give back to me.
I lay out your clothes for you when you take a shower, I make sure you had money on your books when you was in jail, I made sure you had cigarettes when I didn't have any and I eat out of a trash can in the park so you would have food in jail. I bathed in the park when you had a nice shower to stand in. Not once have you ever thanked me for my sacrifices, you accuse me of doing stuff behind your back not believing in my innocence and you told me to my face that you don't believe a word I'm saying to you and that I have to again prove myself to you.
But not once have you proved to me about the way you calm to feel about me, love me or even trust me. Well now I don't trust you or believe a word you say anymore to me, because I think your lying to me all the time. So go and enjoy your four days of having sex with that woman, thinking that I have no idea of what is really going on. But I'll never tell you that I really know what you have been up to mister. I'll save my knowledge of it all for the right moment to tell you that I knew everything that you thought you thought you was sneaking behind my back to do.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
I tried every day to run away from my ghost, that Haunts me in my dreams and when I'm awake. What did I do so wrong to have lost such a precious gift? I have tried not to blame myself for losing another baby inside my body, I have done everything I can not worry about it.
Even though I'm scared plum out of my mind, for the baby I'm carrying now I pray every day and night that everything is perfect with this precious Angel. I will keep trying not to worry about my ghost that is always haunting me.
The times I have to fight and face my ghost by myself is getting more and more each day I'm reminded of it more and more each day, It keeps coming to the surface reminding me of my pain and guilt all over again.
I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm not hurting inside over my ghost, my pain and most of all my guilt, what's so funny is that nobody can help me. It's my cross to bear alone forever, so I'll patch up the holes that got ripped open anew again.
Where it made me feel my pain and guilt as well as facing my ghost again, I refuse to burden anyone with my ghost because it's mine to deal with, and I will suppress my pain and my guilt.
When I feel like I'm finally on equal ground with my ghost I will steel myself firmly and mentally to overpower my ghost, so I can lock it back up in the deepest and darkest place inside my body. Not even my pain or guilt will be able to bring my ghost back to the surface again, it won't be easy to get rid of my ghost but I'll try my hardest not to worry or stress over my ghost anymore.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2020
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Vera Rice Poem
He had tore down all of her defenses in a matter of minutes, he was the first man who even got that close to her. She never felt vulnerable before in her life, depent on someone, trusting so completely and openly at all. She had built her defenses up along time ago, she had started building them up since she was a little girl.
When the first defense fell she didn't know what to do, she wanted to run away and hide somewhere until she had repaired her defense. But he made sure that there was nowhere she could run and hide to, he wanted her to always run to him for everything. For the past seven years he took a sledge hammer to her defenses knocking them down even the new one's she would build in place of the old one's.
For the first time in her life she had started to feel safe, happy, loved and almost wanted. Her defenses we're completely destroyed by him, she can't picture herself without him. She knows that she can never make it without him by her side, he was the first man who made her feel like she could be stronger, unbreakable and untouchable to the world.
He gave her the courage to stand up to her family, he gave her the strength to fight and never give up. She was starting to get really comfortable in her life with him, she was starting to think that all of her dreams was going to come true. She never wanted to leave or lose this happiness that she never thought or imagined of ever having,
Never even dared to hope for, speak out loud about or even dream about in fear that she would never have it. Now that she has had it she is running around like a chicken with her head cut off, because he tore down her defenses in a matter of minutes and then in a fluid motion he broke her heart into a million pieces over and over again; he has almost broke her soul and spirit along with her heart.
How much more abuse can she take in her life, he told that she was safe with him, that he would protect her, defend her and support her in whatever she wanted to do. Her only down fall was believing in him, trusting him with more than just money. She had completely, unconditionally and willingly gave him the key to her heart, now for the millionth time he has broken her heart.
Now the only question she keeps asking herself is can she stand on her own anymore, can she rebuild her defenses but this time stronger and higher up so no one can ever get through again. If she even managed to rebuild her defenses up again against him, and he chose to keep her with him because he realized that he can't and won't live without her. His love for her is stronger than his reason for wanting to break up with her. If she manages to rebuild at least half of her defenses higher and stronger up, will he be able to knock them down again in a matter of minutes.
Does he enjoy making her feel safe, loved, wanted, vulnerable, dependent towards him, having trust in him and daring to dream and hope once more with open arms. Does it make him feel thrilled to know that she is completely and unconditionally under his spell, does he know how much power he really wields over her.
Does he get off on the fact that he causes her so much pain and hurt, especially when he tells her that other women look fine as hell. In his mind it doesn't mean anything but to her it means that he thinks she is ugly and not worth touching at all, he stopped telling her that she was beautiful completely.
When they first got together he never went one day without telling her that how beautiful she was to him, or how she made him feel with so much longing and wanting her. Now he makes her feel ugly, unwanted and useless, he puts her down in front of people. He makes people think that everything is her fault and he is innocent of everything.
He gets to keep secrets from her like the secret of being on every dating app on his phone, who he texts and talks to on the phone. She isn't allowed to ask him any questions regarding his phone or messages from people, when he leaves the house and doesn't come back until the wee hours of the morning she isn't allowed to get upset about it. He told her that if she can do it then he can do it to, but she doesn't do anything like that.
She would catch hell if she ever did that to him, she doesn't try nor does she want to control him. He has control over her and he makes sure she knows who runs this house, he broke her defenses, then broke her heart into a million pieces and to add topping to the cake he told her that she is to become his sex slave.
He thinks he has complete control and power over her, because she does everything for him, so that she doesn't piss him off. He knows how much she loves him and would do anything for him. Even if that means making her feel like a whore, making her have sex with him and other people. Or even putting her through embarrassing potions, just so he can have a good hearty laugh at her.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2021
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Vera Rice Poem
He once had begged her never to leave him, he once stated that her couldn't and wouldn't live without her. He twice declared that he had chosen to be with her, because he loved her that much. He begged her to come back home to him when she had to take care of somethings back in her hometown.
Which was in another state she kept telling him that she was coming back home to him once her business was taken care of, ture to her words towards him. She came back home to him two months later, he promised her that everything was going to change for them. Things was going to start being better for them, after two days of being back home with him.
She found out that he had told her another lie nothing changed at all, she had brought a truck for them while she was away from their home. She lent her family money to bring her truck to her, she didn't even have the truck for no more than four days. When he let another woman borrow her truck and that woman stole it from her, all he could say was that he had trusted that woman that he had just met above the woman he had claimed to love.
She kept waiting on things to get better for them and between them, but since she came back home from her hometown one year ago. He has broken up with her almost every two days, after one day of being broken up.with her. He would take her back because he refuses to live without her, he refuses to see her with anyone but him.
Now a week ago he had broken up with her again, then three days later he asked her to become his sex slave for one week and after that one week he told her that they might get back together.
She has been treating him with a cold shoulder, since then she still does what he tells her to do. Including the sex slave stuff, they have sex and she walks away afterwards like nothing really happened between them at all.
She wonders if he even realizes how much pain and hurt he has caused her, by breaking her heart repeatedly. He has accused her of lying to him constantly, but she has done nothing but tell him the truth. About her feelings, worries and even her stress that she has that won't let her rest at all..
She has even expressed how much she is suffering from her depression, but it seems to fall on deaf ears so one morning he woke her up at six in the morning to fix him some breakfast. He even accused her of doing something that she hadn't done at all, she had fallen asleep with her phone in her hand while playing a game.
He also accused her of calling him a liar and he wasn't going to put up with that at all, so he broke up with her over something so stupid.
It made her wonder once again if men can't handle the truth or they don't recognize the truth when they are being told the truth..
Her ex boyfriend before him couldn't recognize or handle the truth at all when she told him. Nothing but the whole truth she finally had a enough of her ex boyfriend Yelling at her for calling his married girlfriend a liar. She asked her ex if he wanted the truth or a lie, he demanded the truth and when she told her ex the truth he didn't believe her at all. Finally completely fed up with her ex boyfriend not believing the truth when she told him.
She eventually told her ex that she had called her mother from his married girlfriend's phone while they was at the store shopping for food. Her ex had told her see doesn't it feel better to tell the truth huh, to his surprise she yelled at him that she had just lied to him and he believed it completely because he doesn't know the difference between telling the truth and lying. She wasn't even shocked or surprised at all, now she is faced with the same stuff with the man she is in love with, it feels just like it did when she was with her ex. Like he doesn't know the difference between the truth and a lie also, she doesn't know what to do anymore.
By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © Vera Rice | Year Posted 2021
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