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Onwubuariri Jachinma Poem
The little voice begging for love and freedom from classroom is mine
I am a child
Who harbours unspoken words and wavered feelings in my heart
If you let my spirit out of this cage, a beautiful world I'll paint
Now I am bound by chains of failure and mothers unemphatic nature
Every invisible second steals a pint of blood and bucks of flesh off me
Mother is now the pain I see, an undying tormentor she turned to be
On my skin she left her palm slaps and upbeat attitude that gets me grounded
The unpacked toys on the shelf describes me, a missing puzzle lying on the counter defines me
Jack and Saldy are now my favorite mares, the spirits by my window at night they are
On a daily I receive the backlash for not coming down for dinner
A loner in a busy house I am, neither living nor dead
Everyone thinks I am reserved, NO
There's peace in returning to my bed at night, a reviving hope of not seeing another rising sun
Mother can you look at my future, you've murdered my dreams of playing cricket
Do you even notice the pain in my eyes, or the numb little robot you've created out of me
I am complaining to the deaf ears of nature, broken and cold my spirit have turned to be
The wind is upon me, I shall sink my ship to let the sailor live
Whoever sees my body at the graveside should know I was a happy child
Before my demons haunted me.
Copyright © Onwubuariri Jachinma | Year Posted 2018
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Onwubuariri Jachinma Poem
Writing to you about the evil I enjoy.
More like knowing the hate I have for fever.
On this sick bed I curse fever.
For employing my body against me.
I sneezed a hundred last night.
Accompanied by a boiling temperature.
And multiple lining's covering my skin.
The throbbing ache in my head.
Can equal for a five star soundtrack.
Uncomfortable I try to crawl out of my skin.
A toss off the bed.
On the vomits i make a home.
My eyes speaks more than my voice.
Tired and sunken from crying.
Wanting to get a clear view of the pills.
The pounding in my head numbs it all.
Pocketing my brain off my skull.
A dry throat and hazy voice clouds my speech.
Like I climbed down a pulpit.
After shouting to a thousand of deaf beings.
Left only with the hummm sound
Every bone hidden in my skin hurts
Blocked nostrils I tried to breath through.
Weaker I get, yet they asked I stay bare.
A pain I am fixed to endure.
The room stench with sorrow and medicine.
Scent's that once brought me peace.
Now twist my veins and burst the sweat balls on my skin.
I am left with promises.
As the needles make way into my skin.
And the fluids from the drip bag flood my being.
That the guileful pricks will make me whole.
Am I even broken?.
All I get is a confinement without my approval.
Total submission to the evil that gets me right.
Copyright © Onwubuariri Jachinma | Year Posted 2019
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Onwubuariri Jachinma Poem
Intoxicated in pain
Rebellious
To the happiness that last for a moment
Through the needles and pills
I exist in another world
Peaceful
Defenceless
Sight clear I don't see a thing
Voices loud, only a muffle sound I pick
Heart beating way to hard
Couple's of adrenaline flushing in my vein
Causing a stir in my system
Yelling at the voices that never made me think
Walls are closing up on me
For a moment I have to blast you
(The cruelty of living)
Change which comes with breathing
Voices that challenge my belief
Seems I lost it all a long time ago
Still get docked for thinking
Therapy never helped
Just a date with another I do not trust
Leaving lies in truth shade
Confused, know I didn't get better
There are several ways I could have done this
Suffocating, running out of fights
Staining the concrete with blood
Maybe this will bring my feelings alive
Or wake in another confinement
(To keep fighting).
Copyright © Onwubuariri Jachinma | Year Posted 2019
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Onwubuariri Jachinma Poem
Hidden from y'all
Broken heart from loving another
Crushed dream for believing the media
Buried life for not fitting in
Are we to fit into life?
Or fade with the passing days?
Scared of dying
Do not want to live either
Smokes
Drugs
Fill the sack labelled me
Got a heart leading to nothing
Tired
Hoping to live an extra day
Wearing the best smile
Hanging my fears in a wardrobe
Visit at night
While I sit in comfort of pain
Cutting my wrists
Making a hole through the wall with clenched fists
Got my robes soaked in a red river
(Drowning in my blood)
Wishing death visits before morning
Hope you'll notice someday
Not in black clothes
I lived for another
The comforting lies you got fed
I was not a happy soul.
Copyright © Onwubuariri Jachinma | Year Posted 2019
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Onwubuariri Jachinma Poem
We hugged the last time our paths crossed.
Intense like the lovers who had to let go.
Our faithless moments I tried to push aside.
Move on just like everyone else.
Not easy you whispered in my ears.
Tonight.
She came in shades of dark and hue.
Welcomed by the sound of the rain.
Forced to water the earth by the rain maker.
Another set of misfortune has befallen me.
Tensioning like the chat with the therapist
An escape from the conversations holding
in my head.
"You're healing" my favourite compliment.
Yet I lie about your visits.
Suddenly you changed.
The change from a special to ordinary girl
In the eyes of our lovers.
Angry we felt love in our own terms.
I know you I screamed.
Another turn off your swollen face
I fell from my bed
Happy we've lost tracks again.
Still I think of our encounter.
I am terrified you've come to stay.
Copyright © Onwubuariri Jachinma | Year Posted 2020
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