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Emily Chisholm Poem
You called me Memory
not realizing that is all I want
I couldn't ask for anymore
than to be a lovely memory in someone's heart
To be remembered is a great responsibility
I will wear this name well
I'm proud of this name bestowed to me by one of my heroes
One of my friends
One of my sisters
One of my own
One of my most precious memories
A memory with a future
My dear sweet loves
Silver cannot describe your voice
It's far more valuable
It's like gold to my ears
Comfort to my soul
Honey to my throat
It coats me in love
It muses my own thoughts
An ancient way of thinking
I'm an artifact
But don't put me behind glass
Leave me buried or clean me up
but appreciate my beauty either way
I'm too lovely to be forgotten
So don't think that you can leave without thoughts of me
I'll haunt your own memories and gain the trust of your dreams
I'll stay in the creases of your heart and be the sleep in your eyes when you wake
I can turn necks with a simple smile
Don't hold a candle to me
For it will only pale
The rust and dirt that stains me are contributions to my selflessness
I'm a warrior of time
A bandit of sorrows for I will wear yours as my own
I'm cracked but I've withheld against wind a torment
A treasure lost for far too long
The map that leads to me has been smudged beyond repair
But I'm not...
No I'm not the shiniest or the one filled with the most riches
But I am to be cherished
For I am only one
The caverns of my heart are to be explored with reverence
I'll open up but can easily crumble
I know how to rebuild but I've come too far to start over again
I've withstood the test of centuries and I will make it to the end
My treasure hunters
You've found me
Don't look anywhere else for what I can hold
It's too great for most
But you can handle it
I was made to be found by greatness
To hold greatness
And that is what you have filled me with
You've prepared me for wondrous things
Things that can't be reached in just one lifetime
No wonder that I have so many more to live
Copyright © Emily Chisholm | Year Posted 2018
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Emily Chisholm Poem
A poem about my misscariage
I dreamt of a pool with red water
I dove in
Swam to the empty floor
There was a drain
The pool became a red ocean
The ocean became red rain
The rain became the shower where I lost you
Again I heard you hit the shower floor
I woke up to the sound of your body leaving mine
I woke up to a dream within the first
I gasped and rose from my bed
Everything was white except for me
I was stained red
I saw my mirror on the ground
And took my place on it
When I saw between my legs it was gold
Nugget of gold left my lips
My child I held you everyday of your life
I believe in you when I bleed
That smell of iron forever forged with your memory
Memory is my new name and I live in a city of gold now
The house on the corner where I will forever love you
From the shower floor
Copyright © Emily Chisholm | Year Posted 2018
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Emily Chisholm Poem
Would you have me burn?
because you hate the sight of my bones
The peaks, valleys, and creases of my form
prove to be too much for your eyes
Runaway child
Run back to the night
Hide until you can hear the lark
promising you one more chance
The moon of Gemini is all at once your fault
While the ruling of me graces your lips
with new pardons
The stronghold where you seek shelter
In my breast find the peace of my beat
Bow your head, hold your hands and tongue
I know already the prayer you hold
The ailment of my heart
The lament of my soul
The musings to my pain
Would you have me burn?
This hellfire is a relief to cold bones
You froze me through
These dry bones are rattles
Shivering at your distance
Dance to my solemn tune, girl
My heart is a barren womb
Never to birth love again
A new moon brings new feverish dreams
Close your eyes and think back
back to when you felt free
Our hand was dealt in the suit of death
Our discordant hearts never to be in sync
How we were oil and water
The virgin’s blood on the sheets could not save us
Our bed forever stained with a whores scent
The bastardized love of fools
Passion does not healthy love make
Would you have me burn?
The poison of anger
Has finally reached my veins
I spit on your sorries
Damn you to shame
and bite my thumb at your name
Tell them all how you burned me
Tell them about the love I gave you
Merry demons dancing through Styx
I'd sooner see you buried
Than in another's arms
and yet you still grace the earth
Tapping on my grave
Wake my heart to try again
Forgiveness is complete
I knew before it happened
and still you waited weeks
Find me in my solitude
Show me your repentance
Would you really have me burn?
Copyright © Emily Chisholm | Year Posted 2018
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Emily Chisholm Poem
He walks in and sees first the peppermints on my desk then me
“You sure do look pretty today.” He says while unwrapping the candy
I can tell by the way he's looking at me and not the mint that he would rather be unwrapping me
He pops the mint in his mouth and moves it from one cheek to the next over and over
letting it graze his teeth every time
“Thank you, sir.” I say hoping my formality will be a deterrent
He sits down in the chair directly across from me and the foot and a half of desk between us feels like nothing
He spreads his arms and legs and far as they will stretch
I don't look at him
I keep my focus on the screen
“Why won't you look at me, Emily?”
My name sounds like that damn mint scraping his teeth when he says it
“I'm just working.”
“That's all you ever do.”
I look away from the screen and meet his gaze
“That's why I'm here, sir.” he hates when I call him sir
“Why do you always call me sir? Do you not know that you're the best part of my day? I love seeing what you're wearing.”
I don't respond
I turn back to my desktop screen and begin rereading emails that don't matter anymore
He doesn't take the hint
He just keeps staring at me while fiddling with the candy wrapper in his left hand
He stands up and leans over the desk towards me
I flinch
“Haha!” He laughs at me
“Don't worry I'm just throwing this wrapper away, sweet girl.”
He sits back down and continues his devilish staring
I can see in his eyes what he is thinking
I shudder
He notices and looks away for just a moment
that brief moment without his eyes on my skin feels like freedom
I allow my nose to flare to show disgust and contempt
then quickly put my face back to expressionless
“Do you want me to leave?”
“It doesn't matter to me.” I say not knowing how to say yes without screaming it in his face!
He doesn't move after that
I wait for fifteen silent minutes to see if he'll take my silence as his queue to leave
He doesn't
Copyright © Emily Chisholm | Year Posted 2018
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Emily Chisholm Poem
I found Hell on the other side of you
a moment without you
leaves me gasping for air
...but you are my air
Fill my lungs again
Come back…
I found Hell on the other side of you
I sleep on the floor because
the bed was made for two; us
In a constant falling dream
just wishing to hit the ground
Come back…
I found Hell on the other side of you
Every waking hour
Every second of everyday
I’m on my knees
Begging for you
Come back…
I found Hell on the other side of you
My pillow brings no relief
Where have you gone
I even beg for you
in my dreams
Come back…
I found Hell on the other side of you
Which begs the question what did you find
on the other side of me?
Copyright © Emily Chisholm | Year Posted 2018
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