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Best Poems Written by Kimmy Holmes

Below are the all-time best Kimmy Holmes poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Leap Year

Boss, being as this is leap year
and Feb 29th is an extra day
do I have to work tomorrow?
tomorrow being an EXTRA day

He says,  take your appeal 
to the big man upstairs
he invented 365 days
and these pesty leap years

With all due respect, I reply
I thought it was the Greek culture
Not the the big man upstairs
that invented "time" as we know it

(I didn't REALLY say that, I just thought it)

BUT, I say, it's an EXTRA day
kinda like SATURDAY?
do you expect me to work
SATURDAY?

So he says, look at it this way
most months are 30 or 31 days long
so really, you are working a short month
only 29 days long

I have to admit
this crap makes sense
so I give up my appeal
concerned that I might
if I don't keep quiet
end up owing money in the deal

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Memaw

Memaw said she would dance
dance at my wedding
and she did
she made it true
and memaw
swishin and swayin
made the place
that we were at
want to have her
and everyone
be someone like her

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

My Clock Is Broken

Why in the HELL can I not get up in the morning?
and why would anyone want to?
put aside the dramatic sunrise
and what do you have?

A headache from too much fun
20 minutes to get ready for work
oh, and then there's WORK
and Republicans driving 40 in a 65

You ever notice how slow republicans drive?

I am not a morning person
I like tacos at 3am
the quiet is mine 
the sky much more interesting

You ever notice how much better you look at nite?

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Interest Rate

The interest rate is fallin
But I ain't talkin money... darlin
What I got in mind is always free
I don't care if  Wallstreet crashes
Long as I can find them matches
To light that fire that used to burn for me
I run around in see thru teddies
An indication that I'm ready 
But you only got eyes for that damn TV
Look around and see what you been missin
While you been busy makin all that dough
My heart is broke and Lord it needs a fixin
You may be rich but your Love is mighty poor
The interest rate is fallin
But I ain't talkin money
Darlin, when you ever gonna notice me?


love, kim,:  Just a word, this is actually a piece of a song. My best friend said 
" write a song for me", and I asked her "bout what?". She was working in New 
York and her eyes fell upon the current newspaper headline "the interest rate is 
fallin"...

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

My Bad Santa

I'm scared of Santa  

He knows who's been naughty
he know's who's been nice
It's got me kinda nervous
He knows my vice
He knows what I've been doin
And I wasn't so nice
I'm on the list
I didn't think twice
I'm startin to sweat
I'm startin to plan
I gotta get that list
before I get canned
He's got an army of reindeer
and they're all lookin for me
I've heard about this Rudoulph
He's especially mean
He has this nose
this nose that glows
Santa's gonna get me
Cookies won't help
Santa Claus is comin to town
God help me.



originally written under Janetta Harrington

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The Princess Can Talk

I tend to whine
it's a dark gift
passed down through many generations
I am the culmination
the absolute sheer perfection
of whining

See, I whine EFFECTIVELY
I actually accomplish things
or get others to accomplish my things
simply by whining

not to be confused with browbeating
or nagging
that is just so...
welfare 

Ok, so I can maybe be annoying
or cloying
that is so...
Well fair

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Civics 101

I once loved a man
from Pakistan
He wasn't and I'm not
what you may think
He was beautiful
gifted and humble
taught me things
his skin
dark
kinda forbidden
mouth
we talked and he liked my diction
I was very young
he could have been an addiction
he went home
I wonder about him
my first lust 
my first civic's class

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Collaberation Vs Compulation

ok, mom's right, it's "collaborate and copulate"
that's what I meant to say

i am the mom and when i say
it is right it is and
it is weird and i could
be wrong.

ok. we agreed, we only get 2 lines
and you have taken 4 lines
(and I can't even be poetic, cuz you done took my lines)

i was just trying to save paper
for green for the environment
i was helping you.

Helping me?
Helping me what?
ok, I'm usin more lines
You ain't green! You ain't even fair!!!!!!!

WELL, I AM A protester and i
has a been sitting in trees
a lot,  baby sister you better
be nice to your ole ma.

Ok, for 1, you ain't no damn protestor
And you ain't in no trees
and we is hooked on phonics
but we profound
for instance, I done found my lighter

see, i was honest for you and i hired
a surrogate tree hugger so i could
be with you baby sister. duh

Mother, when will you EVER learn to use CAPS?
I know you are honest, and silly, cute, lovable
and you smell good.
But you still broke the 2 line rule AND
if you break the rules, I break them better.... love kim

well,we won't worry about this anymore.
go take a bath...love mom.

P.S. Didn't even get to talk about the copulating and all.... Damn.......


Written by a Mom and Daughter just being foolish cuz we love each other

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

Girls, Just Do It

To MAKE a pattern for feet socks
you trace, you cut, you sew
When making BIScuits
you MEAsure, then knead your dough
to make Love
YOU see, You need, You know

Yes, it was my pattern
to find a man 
to cut me up

I kneaded someone
to measure me

Not anymore
I'm reporting to the girls
I'm happy and sincere
Please hear

Change a tire
or be tired 
not guilty

Don't take out the trash
for once be brash 
He won't starve
except for your attention 

It's worth it
to just be you
it's sexy
new

P.S. you may need a new one to do it....

Details | Kimmy Holmes Poem

It Turns Out... I'M Happy

I'm actually happy
I took this test online
and according to that,
I'm happy

I printed the results of my "are you happy?" test
so I can whip it out
in case someone were to protest

I am obsessed with these results
I can't stop reading that I am 
spontaneous
inquisitive
and energetic

And apparently, I like to try new things.
That explains the promiscuous phase

I also have firm grip on reality
but I have little tolerance for schedules
Hence, I can't get to work on time
I can't help it

Evidently, I have a deep sense of compassion
And I'm good at listening and talking
(HUH?)
But clearly I am unable to write a poem that rhymes
I hope that won't negate all the above
because I was sounding so perfect

I am a EXPLOYER/NEGOTIATOR
meaning
I will do anything
then do anything to get myself out of the mess I made doing ANYTHING

I need to careful though
I could easily be SO MENTALLY FLEXIBLE
that I could appear to be indecisive and unpredictable
and I need to focus on one thing at a time

So if you happen to run into me
please proceed with caution

I am 
charismatic
agreeable and adaptable
and able to convince you that I am just like you

I wish I were me.....

And I cannot tolerate boredom. That part is true.