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Mark Toney Poem
An emperor spoke in poetic verse
Which led to fame for him at first
But after some time, it became a curse
For the Emperor had no prose.
Poetic measure determined his fate
The body politic could not relate
Leaving people in a befuddled state
Yes, the Emperor had no prose.
Seeking solutions from all his wise men
Beseeching them each, again and again
"When will poetic proclivity end?
For I'm the Emperor and have no prose!"
Long and hard, the wise men thought
With no answers to the solutions sought
So they hemmed and hawed, yelled, argued and fought,
Still, the Emperor had no prose.
The Emperor ended his quest in time
No cure for his affliction could he find
Relinquished the throne and became a mime
At least he was able to pose!
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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Mark Toney Poem
You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)
~ Tears falling, relationship flailing, love failing… ~
You say you need a place to stay
You say you’re asking me to find another way
You say you thought about the debt
You say you’re leaving but it hasn’t happened yet
You say you need a place to stay
~ The time, the hurt, the pain, the drain… ~
You say you overcame the jones
You say you’ve analyzed it to the bare bones
You say you finally found the cure
You say you’re righteous, clean, happy and secure
You say you overcame the jones
~ Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise … ~
You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)
~ Tears fall, relationship flails, love fails…
Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise …
This time, this hurt, this pain, this drain…
Time runs out… no more to gain. ~
***
October 29, 2019
F T I series 12 heartbreak
Brian Strand, sponsor
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2018
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Mark Toney Poem
Brilliance and Madness
Howard Robard Hughes
Famously rich recluse
Dreams led him to the lap of luxury
Followed by nightmarish mysophobic OCD
Rich playboy aviator Howard Hughes
With movie starlets kept himself amused
Dated Katherine Hepburn
Bette Davis took her turn
And still more, which kept the tabloids confused
Born Howard Robard Hughes to a rich family
With English, Welsh and French Huguenot ancestry
Enjoyed a successful multi-faceted business career
But aviation and aerospace were his favorite frontier
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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Mark Toney Poem
koi pond quietude
values and tones of zen stones
find repose and peace
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2018
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Mark Toney Poem
China charges 1 million annually
For each panda in our zoos
If we won't pay in full
Then the pandas we will lose
Nasty Panda's the exception
No one wants him here or there
He was paid 1 million dollars
To abscond and disappear!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
I smelled him 'fore I seen 'em
That black and white pariah
Slippin' slidin' in my kitchen
On smooshy mushy pulp papaya
I yelled for him to stop
And I told him where to go
Wink and laugh was all he did
With a Homer Simpson "D'oh!"
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
He hasn't bathed in ages
Masked by quarts of cheap cologne
His furry skin sweat-sticky
From the surface to the bone
Smelly cigar and boozy breath
Plus an air of upper-crust
Please keep your kids away
Cuz that nasty bear can cuss!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
If you meet up with Nasty Panda
Better turn around and run
You're bound to lose your money
And your wits before he's done
Don't shed tears for Nasty Panda
Cuz he likes the way things are
Don't forget to hide your keys
Else he'll drive off in your car!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's a scoundrel and a bum
He's such a nasty panda
~He's as nasty as they come
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He's gonna raise a stink
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He's much nastier than you think
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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Mark Toney Poem
Green eggs, Spam and grits
Sam and Pam had their fill,
Then made their way to Main Street
Down WhoDat’s Whatsup Hill.
Waived "Hi!" to their neighbors
To show them that they cared.
All smiled except two who
Just stood there and glared.
Hulu Q Hopps and
His shorter half-brother
They came from two pops but
Shared the same mother.
Hopps came at them fast
So they quickened their pace
Sam and Pam flew past him,
Boy, this was a race!
Hopps huffed and puffed,
While shouting very gruffly:
"You better stop now, or
I'll treat you roughly!"
"Just what have we done
To make you so mad?"
"If you don't stop right now,
I'll do something bad!"
Pam and Sam finally stopped,
Turning right around,
Awaiting their fate while
Standing their ground.
Hopps wide-eyed and breathless
Finally stopped within inches
"Listen real closely now,
Your see Mr. Pinch is
Hot on your trail
Looking for retribution
Based on your failure
To give restitution."
"We don't know what that means,
We don't know what to say..."
"Doesn't matter at all,
Pinch is coming your way!"
Since Mr. Pinch meant
To slow cook their goose,
Pam and Sam agreed to do
What they learned from Dr. Seuss!
They asked all their friends
To lend them some help.
Eucalyptus, Betty Loo,
JaeJae and Miss Kelp.
Hortman, Octavius, and
Hopps stepped up to bat.
Even Kat came back
And threw in her hat!
Off in the distance
The Catawampas growled
And soon after that
The Terrormasu yowled.
Down came Mr. Pinch
From atop Mount Dumpit
In his impedimenta SUV,
Like it or lump it.
Rolling into town
Entering WhoDat's Square
Pinch shouted "Sam and Pam!
Are you hiding somewhere?"
"You must pay the piper,
I'm here to collect.
Excuses mean nothing,
Your pleas I'll reject!"
Pam and Sam stepped forward,
Friends forming a line.
"Pinch, you won't get away
With extortion this time!"
With that Betty Loo
Pulled out her didgeridoo.
The others pulled out
Their instruments too.
All began playing strong,
Singing loud and clear:
"You are hostile Mr. Pinch
And your breath reeks of stench
But we're stronger than you
So you can't make us flinch.
Mr. Pinch you are mean
So you better flee the scene
You're a nutter like no other, Mr. Pinch..."
They droned on and on,
A multi-stanza bonanza:
"You're a villain Mr. Pinch...
"You are sleazy Mr. Pinch...
"You are nasty Mr. Pinch...
"You're a nutter Mr. Pinch...
"You disgust us Mr. Pinch...
Mr. Pinch screaming loud
With hands to his ears,
Made a beeline to his
Impedimenta SUV in tears.
Then Pinch did the math
Calculating the odds
He wasn't going to get
Anywhere with these clods.
"You haven't heard the last of me!"
Fist pumping as he shouted.
When he left, all WhoDat cheered,
Disaster had been routed.
Sam and Pam thanked their friends
In a way that befits.
A WhoDat picnic serving them
Green eggs, Spam and grits!
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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Mark Toney Poem
Michelle, an appreciative poet
Decided to take time to show it.
Wrote a poem to her pals,
To both guys and gals-
She was always nice, now we all know it.
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2018
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Mark Toney Poem
Instant friends,
We hit it off so well
Mutual encouragement
Lives starting to gel
In an instant gone
As quickly as it started
Reasons why unknown
Left in waters unchartered
(Chorus)
Can you drop me a hint?
Can you offer a smidgen?
Was it something I said?
Could it be my religion?
Something I should’ve done,
Or anything I can do
To know the reasons
For losing you?
Good if we could talk
Suss out issues ensconced
I’ve tried to reach out
But received no response
Finally thought it best
To leave well enough alone
So hard to accept
A friendship turned to stone
(Chorus)
Can you drop me a hint?
Can you offer a smidgen?
Was it something I said?
Could it be my religion?
Something I should’ve done,
Or anything I can do
To know the reasons
For losing you?
4/26/2020
Photo by Mikael Kristenson on Unsplash
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2020
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Mark Toney Poem
Waterloo Clerihew 23-Skidoo
Napoleon Bonaparte
1769 Corsica is where he got his start
One of the greatest commanders in history
His manner of death a 200-year-old mystery
Napoleon played it close to the vest
With his armies he was always the best
But 'twas nothing he could do
When he met his Waterloo
Lived his last few years under house arrest
Napoleon drank the water and headed for the loo
He did nothing different than you or I could ever do
Be kind to your skin and protect your bone-a-parts
Remember that's where good hygiene starts!
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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Mark Toney Poem
Why do mechanics need manuals when they’ve fixed it before?
Answer my question or I’ll walk out the door!
Didn’t they attend trade schools or get OJT?
Why need repair manuals? That what gets me.
I just want a mechanic who won’t refer to a book.
Just fix my car already, don’t give it a second look!
Why do pilots run checklists and reference their charts?
Just push the dang button and hope the plane starts!
Didn’t they go to flight school and pass all the tests?
Pilots fly most days, so who needs all the mess?
I want a pilot who knows without referencing a chart.
Just get on with the flying and prove that you’re smart!
What about the doctors who are practicing still?
Why can’t they get it right? And that includes the bill!
They’re always researching new studies in journals
When time’s better spent attending patients’ internals.
I just want a Marcus Welby, Ben Casey or Kildare
Instead of keeping up to date, I just want them to care.
Why do lawyers review case studies and legal decisions?
Such antics in my book leave them open to derision.
All that studying in law school should have been more than enough.
After passing the bar they should already know their stuff.
I just want an attorney who’s a know-it-all ace,
Not a book worm mouthpiece to plead my case.
Finally, the poets, being wordsmiths their art
You won’t see them referencing a checklist or chart
But look, in their hands, just what can that be?
A dictionary? Thesaurus? Are those what I see?
A real poet never needs help reading Shakespeare or Keats
Using Webster and Roget would make all of us cheats!
If a poet is real, the words should just flow
I think that all poets should automatically know
The right words to use, and literary crutches forgo
How dare they try better vocabulary to hone
They should come up with good things to say on their own.
I’m looking for poets who’ll just know what to say
Like Lewis Carroll’s poems in his heyday:
“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe.”
Don’t bother looking up his words, for that would be a dumb thing.
Using a dictionary or thesaurus, you might actually learn something!
Copyright © Mark Toney | Year Posted 2019
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