Seems each time I visit my doc he recommends more pills for my health!
I'm not sure they're effective but this I know, they're depletin' my wealth!
And with all the side effects, I'm really concerned about my early doom!
"He expired from excessive medications!" might aptly be etched upon my tomb!
The list is endless - Diuretics, Beta Blockers, Nexium, Advil and Tylenol,
Alpha Blockers, Vitamin D, Zantac, Zocor, Micardis and a bit of Timolol,
Carisoprodol, Hydrocholorothiazide, Alphagan, Moltrin and Fosamax,
Hydroxyzine, Caltrate, Phillips Milk of Magnesia and some Atarax!
The black-box warnings say I could suffer everything from dehydration,
To blurred vision, dizziness, diahrea and a serious case of constipation!
My Pa seldom saw a doc and lived to the ripe old age of ninety-four!
He survived by sippin' SSS Blood Tonic and usin' horse linamint for
His aches and pains and other such stuff peddled by the Watkins Man!
I may toss the bottles and use his home-remedies to increase life's span!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
zantac, funny,
Form: Couplet
PEPTO BISMOL said to her friend, "MLANTA's coming over, what should I serve?"
Her friend replied, "Perhaps your ANTACID would like a PRILOZEC salad, if she has ZANTAC
of her TUMS. If she's not hungry, you could take her to the MAAL OXspecially since you
need to get some new ROLAIDS for your car"
"Yes, but the GAS-X so costly! I don't know if I have enough PEPSID in my car to get there.
It LACTAID the last time I went to the store to get MILK OF MAGNESIA for PHILLIPS. And
what if the lunch GAVISON upset stomuch?"
"Well, you could TAGAMENT along for her, especially if she's BEANO...full of ALKA SELTZER!"
"That sounds crazy!" said PEPTO BISMOL.
"Well, IMMODIUM giving you some suggestions!"
Categories:
zantac, funny, health, imagination
Form: Narrative