Upchucked Poems


Woodchuck

STUCK LIKE CHUCK
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck's luck was sucked and fukked up and struck by upchuck?
Upchucked struck, sucked and fukked luck like a stuck up duck with a stuck dumptruck and twenty two bucks,
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood real good where he should?
I got a fuuck for a duck, a duck for a k, and a twenty dollar bill for a fukked up duck, and I don't give a fukk how much a woodchuck chucks fukk A ducK
Categories: upchucked, 3rd grade, allusion,
Form: Rhyme

Garden Fate

It was ripped to shreds
turned over, and dumped
atop a chipped hole in the earth

The garden had been pretty
weedy, but pretty nevertheless

Like anything it took time to grow
a bleeding heart a couple bushes
the occasional tulip planting
a horrifying dog toy and bones

but in the end all of it
was upchucked and abandoned
on a pile of rocks and debris
waiting for their gardener
to rescue them
Categories: upchucked, absence, garden, tribute, ,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberPrince Fred

Once upon a time there lived a frog named Fred
Fred was a Prince, but he was unwed
So he sent word through the kingdom that he needed a bride
Tammy the green gowned lass blushed with pride
As she was chosen to be Fred's wife

But Fannie her jealous sister said "No not on your life"
And so the two sisters began to fight
Barry the blue frog shouted for everyone to be quiet
Then Gus the gecko performed the ceremony on a lily pad
Prince Fred married Tammy, which made Fannie quite sad

The reception was held at club Ribbit and was very nice
Even though Barry got drunk and upchucked on the rice
Alan  the alligator happened to be swimming by
When he saw all thos frogs he said "My Oh My"
All the guests were having a jolly good time

So Alan crashed the party and was delighted to dine
Fred and Tammy had slipped away
And spent their honeymoon in the Palace by the bay
There time together was filled with love and laughter
And they lived happily ever after


For Debbie's Fairy Tales contest
Personified objects: the frogs
Categories: upchucked, nature, time,
Form: Rhyme

Pet-Sit Panics

Our dog named Heidi is very old you see.
She has been to the vet, for her old age.
Still strong willed, without any rage,
Taking medicine each day, given by me.

She still loves to eat so many things.
Many treats, she deserves them too.
For her love and bravery so true,
For eighteen years, her life rings.

This one day we had fresh chicken to fry.
My wife wearing rubber gloves to keep clean.
Then throwing them away in trash, we seen,
Heidi grabbing them, swallowing she did try.

We were not fast enough to stop her gulp.
Worried we quickly remembered a little trick.
A touch of peroxide to drink, to make her sick,
Gagging and choking, but she upchucked the pulp.

Not the prettiest sight that anyone could ever seen,
This might seem mean, but it could have been worse.
Heidi would have probably died, last ride a doggy hearse.
Now we hide her eyes from the garbage, and keep it pristine.
Categories: upchucked, animals, health, life, petsold,
Form: Enclosed Rhyme
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