I have forgotten the Language of love,
I have sought for guidance from above,
Professed my love now without rewards,
My heart is crossed by swords.
No one helps or bares witness
Not a promise of forgiveness,
Time passes by seasons,
I flirt with my demons.
Just judging myself
I know it’s just a shame,
that I waste my days, losing all my pride
I push others aside,
that affection can’t compare to those beautiful eyes
I think of him, That voice and that grin
And I am hooked right back and then,
I’m wondering when he’ll be in my life again
I’m no victim, I’m the crime
I’ll keep chasing him until I get my time
I just want to feel truly seen again
Just by him and no other men.
By Rosie Hill
….be still, be quiet,
deafening noise in the silence…
….head spinning, heart racing
anxiety is restlessly pacing…
….I’m confused, I’m conflicted
in love, I’ve been convicted…
….no hurt, no pain
for you I show refrain…
….too late, for debate
my words—hesitate, inevitable
fate…
….sinking fear, falling tear
to never have you near…
….just you and me
never meant to be…
…no joy, no laughter
unhappily ever after…
Help people for those
Who cannot help you back then
Joy is yours await.
And it begins again
I know you're different
You're not the same
Yet fear seeps in
I'm scared of pain
Of restless nights
Of endless tears
Of racing thoughts
No pain compares
To that of knowing that I am not loved by you
But a chance, I have not given you
My heart, I have not shared
Your eyes have not seen my love for you
For it all, I cannot bear
This is all thought out preemptively
Emotion, I will not show
This immense love that I have for you
Is one you will never know
I was not looking so l caught her staring , at me .
I put two and two together and just like that l fell for you.
It was an innocent affair based on the admiration of souls.
We would just stare into one another's eyes .
I had her back and she had my back?
Like a coin we were one but not for the same purpose. You whispered sweet nothings in my ears so l couldn't listen to my instincts you Jezebel.
I trusted you , gave you the benefit of the doubt made a promise and l kept it , only for you to fool me .
It's all cool like ice forming in Alaska. I learned a valuable lesson not to ever give before receiving .
I thought of you today, yesterday
and probably the days to follow you will be my thought again
I have attempted to think differently
yet everything bounces back
I nolonger know how not to think
So, with a pencil and paper I settle to write
Scribble down a few lines
But your thought becomes so vivid
I close my ears but my eyes can hear your voice
and I know then, love is both life and death
So I will yield to silence
For dear silence has become my refuge
In the echo of silence, I will embrace the thought
And take it to Dreamland, the only place that is border~less.
And where no one would ask about my idle fancies.
Our gift of love, unreciprocated...just imagine how God feels!
Date written and posted: 05/19/2019
Father’s first love.
Whipped spirit nurtures new life.
Unreciprocated adoration.
100 kisses of a tickling ‘stashe.
Mother: face down, step forward.
Feel pain, never expose.
Teenage sweetheart.
Stunted growth.
Teenage father.
Juvenile protector.
Baby crying.
Manipulation?
Nothing in focus. Thick smoke.
Another blow-up.
Develops a reflex.
A broken heart still Beats. Beats. Beats.
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