Third grader is braiding her hair in an elaborate way.
Not students are supposed to do on testing day.
I do not care, keeping my opinions about this test at bay.
Validity of this idiotic waste of time has plenty of frivolous fray.
Some students finish standardized tests quickly
Others take elaborate amounts of time
My cousin Suzette always finished first
She filled in the oval bubbles with faeries and butterflies
Made elaborate designs that required all of the ovals in a row
If a teacher thought to look at her oval answer sheet she went ballistic.
Reporting her to my aunt, her mother, another teacher.
Luckily my aunt did not put any faith in these tests.
Stop teaching! Stop teaching! Stop teaching!
What do we have to do to get this through your heads.
We want them to know how to take standardized tests.
I guess we will have to start grading you teachers
We have discussed it. The committee of Non-teachers and I.
We have decided to issue you demerits on the stuff the state thinks is important.
Hey, are you listening? Then what is wrong with you?
It is all about circling bubbles, you fool. Stop TEACHING!
S Sorriest type of assessment
T Two answers always sound right; one is author’s idea of more right.
A Assumes we have identical life experiences, exposed to same words
N No one likes them- not the students, teachers or parents
D Do not guess, but what to do when you have no idea whatsoever?
A Assumes students have computer skills and typing skills.
R Ridiculously limited as to what they are measuring
D Depressing to students who do not test well or have test anxiety
I I believe portfolios are a better indicator of student accomplishment
Z Zany questions never asked in real life, strange vocabulary also
E Excellent grade for ten students per school, demoralizing to the others
D Depressing to the student who gets a low score.
T Teachers threatened by their students’ test scores, tied to evaluations.
E Every parent needs to say “No, thank you."
S Students are over-tested before the real test.
T Teachers cringe when they see their students’ test results
S Students feel badly when they get a low score
Author Note: A poem in memory of the dreaded ACT, FCAT, SAT, and other Academic Testing
Standards.
Wrapped in a web of preconceived deceit,
cornered by the sound of their retreat
that echo’s throughout the halls
as they silently scream
in the throes of their defeat,
lost in hopelessness,
perceptibly stressed,
feeling the heat,
intensity visible in tightly clenched teeth,
they would never admit they were beat
determined to accomplish this hated feat,
their ebb of lifeblood bittersweet,
as slowly,
then rapidly,
panic spreads into the street,
to dissipate quickly as they form and debate,
the standardized test that will decide their fate
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