I want to be that guy
that knows how to fix a transmission
or put a cabin together, with only an axe.
However, I am that guy
who wanders hardware stores
picking up Swiss Army knives
and dreaming of conquering nature
by whittling a thousand sticks,
or of constructing furniture
using only an awl and a spokeshave
not having a clue what they are
or do.
I am that guy
who hunts for the perfect tool box
for his Swiss Army Knife and Screwdriver,
who dreams of working in the garage
on a project so diabolically engineered
that it only requires
a Swiss Army knife and a screwdriver
to take it apart.
If society ever breaks down
I hope I will know
how to create a preppers kingdom
defended by boobytraps.
In any hardware store I can be seen
searching for boobytrap kits
traps that can be easily assembled
with a spokeshave and an awl.