Hey all I know that I haven't been active on here for a while. I've been having some health issues lately that have been keeping me sidelined. That and trying to mentally prepare for a 7th major spinal fusion operation with revisional repairs to the current hardware already inside of my back. I'm about to be fused from shoulder blades all the way down to my tailbone. That's really going to make moving around fun. Another multi level neck fusion surgery is on the horizon as well. I'm going to be like Michael Keaton's Batman. Having to pivot at the waist for any moment... But I don't know if I can even do that when everything is done.
It's taking a toll on me mentally and emotionally. It's just a lot to process. I'll be back again, but I just don't have the creative juices that I used to right now.
Take care everyone
figuring out what i already knew,
living in solace with very little to do-
allowing this pain to walk all over me,
making my eyes too blind to see…
this isn’t friction,
it’s addiction,
and i can’t break free
embraced by an illness that has taken hold,
too small to see i’m just too damn old-
forgetting this pain can walk all over me-
never seeing what will be, will be-
this isn’t vanity,
it’s insanity,
and i can’t break free
acceptance of what will come is the worst,
letting go of what i think has come first-
what will i find
in my poor mind?
continuing to let this pain walk all over me-
this isn’t real,
what i feel,
and for some reason, i just can’t break free
i’ve lost what i found in the beginning of time,
now i’m bound by sound spinning in rhyme
o, when will i break free?
from this pain that has taken hold of me
________________________________
1/19/2022
I am having a spinal fusion on February 3rd and am in a lot of physical pain. I am also a recovering addict and pain relief options have been very difficult for me. Please keep me in your prayers.
Many thanks :)
-luloo
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