Short Teetotaler Poems

A car dealer needed a driver,
So Ray decided to take over,
When Ray took the wheel,
Car parts began to reel,
Ray asked, “was it not a teetotaler?”...

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There once was a woman named Sandy
Who liked jelly candies and apricot brandy
While her teetotaler husband was away
She drank a bottle of brandy that day
When he was home enjoyed only the candy...

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I asked my grandfather
why human beings drink
and get lost in drunkenness
I tell you my dear
those who get drank
were created by a drunken deity
those who do not,  came on earth
by a teetotaler creator-goddess
oppressed in a male-dominated
world of oppressing spirits...

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this has no head or tail
medicine box containing diseases
crazy as the river
that runs in reverse
planet that lost gravity
the heart of things
pulsing outside
my coffee in ice cubes
the smile of the fish in space
your love for me
what was so entrancing
today a teetotaler drunk...

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I once knew a sedate gent with class,  
who would not drink red wine at church mass.
Would take a wee sip,
to wet his wee lip,
since red wine made him expel built gas.

Was time for his daughter to marry,
gentleman who liked to drink sherry.
Being a good dad,
I toasted the lad,
then prayed for fearless canary.

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey...

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Holly here and holly there! Christmas is floating in the air!
Ho ho ho and hee hee hee! We are merry, us darling three!
Don’t you think that song is a bit arrogant? Mama asked.
They laughed and giggled and gave her a drink of their flask.

Holly here and holly there! Mama wants to calm us you see!
We are happy though with a ho ho ho and a hee hee hee.
And now mama is asleep, for a teetotaler she will always be.
The trio of elves were on a mission to bring the world glee....

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