Short Plaice Poems

her lying alibi was found dead at sea ~ his sole’s in the right plaice...

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I saw a pigeon;
I heard a ' bang!'.
There was no bird.

I saw a plaice; 
I heard a 'splash!'.
There was no fish.

I saw a tree; 
I heard a 'hack!'.
There was no forest.

I saw a house; 
I heard a 'boom!'.
There was no shelter.

I saw a Man;
I heard a “nothing!”.
There was no being....

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No wish to carp or cock a snook
I won't leave you in the lurch
but oh my cod take a look
what a plaice to perch
as just for the halibut
putting seahorses out to paddock
is enough to give one
a severe bad haddock
so no red herring I don't flounder around
take a peeled eel flake of baked hake
plus pinch of pickled pilchard
and an ichthyic sandwich make
but if my words are vitriolic
you may grunt and kiss my bass
it's all a load of pollock(s)
...

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One night an octopus said,
Those whelks should be in bed.
Said the herring to the plaice,
Would you please say grace.
"I say" said a passing whale,
"Is that kipper for sale."
There is somethingvery odd,
Repied a bewildered cod.
"Excuse me" asked the shark,
"Did you hear that dogfish bark".
The haddock with a smile serene,
Said the mermaid is our queen.
May I join you said the seal,
To the mackerel with some appeal.
Of course the snapper replied,
Yes,yes the mullet cried....

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