Short Grunted Poems

The plump hen grunted
Having popped her morning free range
No egg on her face...

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The sow looked at the piglets,
And grunted, with a big sigh,
"You kids are so darn messy!
This place looks like a pigsty."...

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A flamenco dancer in Spain
encountered a nun in the rain.
He shouted,' Olé.'
Her fingers astray, 
she grunted, 'I'm coming again.'

Just some silliness, written today for Andrea's limerick contest...

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Grandma wore petti-pants, a form of straight bloomers to exercise class.
Back in the fifties, you had to wear dresses, to cover your…..
In grayscale, these housewives bent, grunted and gave a big reach.
The days before work-out-clothes, women were daring to say the least....

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Watching from my alabaster face
sometimes hands will wipe my face
every second counts my days
My forlorn voice
always met with grunted dismay
Watch you cower
as i strip your time
once oiled
now choked
by skin and dust
counting minute minutes
ours are the hours
some
time
sometime...

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well here comes another fart
but leaving a nasty tart
i blew wind knocking over the plants
only thing i teared a hole in my pants
then ripped them apart
neighbor just grunted and said thats..smart..
stinking up the earth
was it really that worth
its like an atomic bomb
don't worry people just be calm
the stench will go away in june
but relax june will be here soon........

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Lizzie would never get tired of the color Pepto pink.
Her clothes, her cat, her artistic ink
With all this pink, how can you think?
This was from a plumber underneath her sink.

I love this color, she said, wondering why.
She felt a need to explain to this random guy.
The guy grunted, as liquid Drano ran by.
The color pink is romantic, Lizzie explained with a sigh....

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The tribe was arguing amongst themselves.
While they were thus engaged
a nearby bush burst into flame.

“That bush is on fire.” Said a watchful elder.
The tribe grunted acknowledgement,
for it was indeed a burning bush.

“Piss on it,” another suggested. –
so they did.

Naturally the discovery of fire
was much delayed, and is it any wonder
that after Moses,
God
retreated into a puzzled silence....

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“What kind of food is that?” Lee turkey asked the pig.
The pig pretended he did not understand.
Grunted his way out of answering outright.
“That’s a turkey leg!” Lee’s cousin yelped. “Disgusting!”
“You are a cannibal!” they both yelled at the pig.
The pig did not know what he was eating.
He only knew it was delicious.
He smiled his happiest grin.
Knowing he could take both of them if he had to.
Wondering how long you bake a turkey leg?...

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Oh Cupid! You still looking?  It’s me...
Where’s my dream man? You know...muscled he.
And some brains would be nice,
otherwise, no lice,
fumigating has caused allergy.

That stupid pig was NOT company.
He just grunted and rooted, you see.
Take that thing you call bow
and bring my man in tow.
Oh Cupid, where’s the love pin for me?

The lawn regrew from your fiery blaze.
I forgive you, the alcohol raze...
Ev’ry year, I’m older,
so Cupid, I’m bolder!
Justifiable, menopause phase!

Janet Vick...

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