When I stopped
taking Sertraline
again,
I felt too much
all at once
including
a cacophony
of anxiety
I hate to acknowledge
that even I
need a little help
to get by
I didn’t choose my mind
in the lottery of life
I decide what I put
In my body,
everyday
grapefruit juice
for health,
avocados
because
I love
their shade
of green,
and meat
because
I crave
meat
what I choose
to put in my mouth
directly affects
everything
all my little,
daily outcomes
don’t seduce me
as much as you,
sexy Devil
little pills can do so much
I don’t want
to tap dance with the Devil
when I should be sleeping
If you want
To go out
Have a drink
Shake a leg
Take a bet
Take a chance
Win or lose
Have a dance
I don't really care
I don't care
All that much
Come and go
it - so?
Have a run
Getting fit
I don't really
Give a...
What do you want
Do you know
Please yourself
Let it - go
Take a risk
Feet first
Jump right in
Bubble - burst
If you think about, how you live your life
What do you want to leave behind?
I want to see the world, I want to know that I
Did the very best that I could
I pissed myself
I'm getting old
It was warm
It went - cold
Do you love?
Is that enough?
Are you the one?
I think I'm done.
(This poem is dedicated to sertraline)
I no longer know where to find me
I wish you didn't leave me here to rot
No matter how much rubble I force myself to pull up
It has sunken too deep, shattered too fine
The shards you once called my heart
Put me up in a museum, call it fine art
Modern day galleries, full of nonsensical ideologies
Kind of ironic your favorite field was anthropologies
All you had to say was you couldn't help me
There's so much fine detail within you I'd love to abirritate
Today is a day of loss, every moment a minute to commemorate
I take the people closest to me to those spots we only knew
The memories I create with them will never surpass the ones with you
But day by day it's like my mind flips in estrange
Moments I shared with you are plastered with their interchange
Sertraline, Fluoxetine, Fluvoxamine
Shame it never compared to your dopamine
Never had to worry about your bioavailability
The only cause for concern was how much I craved it from you
I wish you never left me here to rot
Please, I'm begging come to my door and don't stop braying
Awaken me from my nightmares, you don't realize how quick I'm decaying
sertraline
with 4 benedryl gulped down –
today, she will live
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