Scroungy Poems


Premium MemberI Donate My Hair

My hair grows much faster than most
You can ask my friends, teachers or ghost
If it is in a mohawk by breakfast it is at my shoulders at noon
I can usually stand on my locks in the mid-afternoon

My hair does not normally or usually grow exactly the same
God has blessed me with an unfathomable growing-hair mane
Sometimes it is ginger, curly with a wink of chestnut
Cutting it off at the roots and you will hear them “tut-tut”.

They are in charge of what my hair next will be.
Sometimes it is thin other times as thick as a fat chickadee
One time it grew straight and coarse like a horse’s tail
It was so long I stepped on it going out to get the mail

My locks are all woven into mats for the cat orphanage
I hear that when they get scroungy, they feed them to their pig
His name is Wilbur and he gets excited when he sees me arrive.
He has scarfed down mats made of my hair, I think ninety-five.
Categories: scroungy, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberWinnefred Witch Tries to Conjure a Turtle

do you know how to conjure a turtle? asked the snot.
Wonderful Winnifred Witch was unsure, but she tried.
A fat spotted frog jumped out of her pot.
Ran under her china cupboard to hide.

Next she conjured a snake, who slithered away.
Maybe it’s not my time, my task, or my day?
Winnifred gave her cauldron and spell book another try.
This time conjuring a happy glob, who would not let her cry.

I really like this happy glob, she thought, he makes me happy.
You are insane, said her familiar, a scroungy crow named Nappy.
She gave him his freedom. He gave her a feather and a nod.
She was joyful now because she had her happy blob.
Categories: scroungy, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberWhy Is It Messy After Halloween

We were taking our Halloween bounty down the River Jinx.
Past rotting corpses, ghoul’s eyeballs and smelly scroungy mink
Why is it always so messy after Halloween, asked one of our mates.
I don’t care, I replied, the trick-or-treating and rotting pumpkins are great.

We have to get rid of the candy wrappers, the pop cans and such.
It’s a lot of work, but it is appreciated by the snowy winds, very much.
They want the world to be fresh and ready for spring after the melt.
I held my nose as we travelled past a beaver’s cadaverous pelt.
Categories: scroungy, halloween,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberNight Time Prayer, Humorous

Now, I try to lay me down to sleep.
On one foot? Hardly, is this a treat!
I see my leg scars laughing at me,
Like some drunken sailor lost at sea!

How did this happen, I ask myself!
Was I thinking of my dead husband,
Ralph?
There is no answer, for one leg Pangie!
This balancing act, hardly poetic, I call,
scroungy.

                12/6/2021
Categories: scroungy, health, humorous, night, prayer,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberMumu Me

Wearing a mumu again today
Fooling myself into semi-believing
no one can tell I have gained too much weight
That my thighs rub together as I walk
And I am lumbering like a beast

Wearing a mumu again today
It has paint all over it 
My justification for wearing it 
For the third day in a row
Because I am painting today in my studio

Wearing a mumu again today
So my husband can wash
The gray T-shirt and scroungy coral shorts
I had previously worn
six days in a row
verification I am a pig
Categories: scroungy, woman, women,
Form: Prose Poetry


Premium MemberCoyote In My Yard Today

Coyote in my yard today 
Looked small and scroungy from a distance
The closer she got the bigger she looked
I thought of all the nights I have walked around out there
Listening to coyote yips as they surround their prey
With no idea how large they are
I watch her paw the earth
Feeling vulnerable
Categories: scroungy, animal,
Form: Prose Poetry

How Do I Thank You?

I was driving by the park yesterday and saw that girl.
She was holding a beer while leaning back on some scroungy guy.
I remember when she was in your class in 5th grade...she's only 16.
Does her mother know this is what she does 
mid-day on a Tuesday? 

I heard another kid in your class dropped out.
Since when is a 9th grade education enough? 
That makes how many that just dropped out...
because they 'don't like it'? 

The girl in your 5th hour wasn't there all last week.
She was busy... giving birth.
She's old... considering she's in the 11th grade. 
(Compared to the 7th grader that just had a baby 3 months ago.) 

I want to scream WAKE UP everytime I see them in town.
The ones wearing the booty-shorts and tiny tank tops.
Who do I thank for my wonderful daughters? 
Do I just thank God that I was blessed with you? 
How can I thank you for being the young women that you've become? 
When I see all that is going on around you...
I'm amazed by your strength.
Categories: scroungy, angst, caregiving, daughter, life,
Form: I do not know?
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