What Matters
When they ask: the answer is, I want to be cremated
Smoke the man from yesterday that occasionally crumbles into tomorrow
Let the wind carry the residue of inspiration until it ashes back to God
Then spread my ashes in any of the places unchecked on my bucket list
Don’t keep any of my un-swept broom dust it is to return to the dust
I rather you taste test my poems than to soil sample from my soul
Please never say I passed away, tell everyone I lived
Because depression has been uprooted & cancelled after the 3rd season
Let the grapevine drip sober wine tales of how I exhausted myself so much
The creased pages of poetry clothed strangers as if they knew the pieces in my wardrobe
When death has finally caught my breath, I hope to have let go of every poem that never leaves home
Bodies chained by their own thoughts, choking on this pen to throw up prose
Sickness makes the best pain, and suffering is a drug that pushes the best art
60 mg of therapy just leaves you stranded and,
What we’re afraid of is usually the direction we should go
Have you ever heard someone say they’re scared of their dreams coming true?
Fear sweaters my closed eye paintings in XL proportions no wonder procrastination feels as warm as sleeping in
But poetry has taught me how to hug my inner child
A long embrace so you can feel the things I need to get off my chest
When it comes to love I’ve made such a mess
I hope pride hasn’t stolen HER reflection from me
I’m tired of sky dive feelings interrupting as misunderstood love
This time we should make love fall for us
While I fall for the twitch your mouth gets when you’re angry
Just so I can fall again when you smile
Let’s allow our breath patterns to hold a conversation for once
Turning our tented love into an adapted film captioned by one heartbeat
The goal isn’t marriage, its covenant, so the hard parts are on purpose
Love isn’t gravity or the apple, it’s the tree, but some enjoy the fall more than the progress, contrast
I’m trying to add your roots to my family tree
Sometimes I think I want a child more for my parents than to feel the shade of love from leaves
Yet my heart starts to jump rope while watching children play without boundaries
A little boy just waved at me and the wave of emotions relaxing at the bank of my mind
Gave me a glimpse of you, that’s why when I saw you, I already knew
What Matters Most.
These poems are the only keepsake I want anyone who knew me to hold dear
I hope you learn to understand God, love yourself more than the opinions that hold you hostage, and walk with the power you already own
Love others with a kindness that they have never known until joy doesn’t skip their home
Before time gives up on me, I want my dreams to have run out of gas
The leap of faith should be an inhale by now, exhaling the secondhand smoke of anxiety
I don’t smoke, but I get jealous of the comfort a spliff gives to those who need a lift
Like the cuddle of a good playlist accessorized by empty sunroof car rides
All your favorite memories blanketed by the hunger of a lighter
Melting dances by yourself behind locked doors
Til you burn enough calories for Handles Homemade Ice Cream in a cone with a bowl
Because I want the best of both worlds
Smore toasted by your favorite hoodie with assorted snacks across the front
Discarding the things of earth because they’re nothing compared to Salvation
Rest easy knowing my worship will be standing on golden streets
The cracks of my humanity have become kintsugi
Sin signed, but forever forgiven
It was never smoke, just God’s breath
p.s. remember the present is the closest you’ll ever be to the future…
Copyright ©
Roses Roses
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