What If He Says That to Our Daughter
-In the dead of night, when the world is silent, her whispers haunt the shadows of my mind.
“Daddy, I’m so tired… I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Her small voice, trembling like a ghost, echoes in my heart — a chilling reminder of the fragile life we’re trying to hold together.
Late at night,
when silence drapes the room,
my mind whispers the questions
I’m too scared to ask.
Was I happy?
Or just trying to be?
Did he make me happy,
or was I chasing shadows —
because he was my first love?
Or was there something more?
I gave him all I had,
because I loved him that much.
But my mind spirals,
questions tearing through me:
Was it the right choice —
to stay with him?
I forgave him,
for love’s sake.
I wished…
I thought of dying instead.
But what if he tells my daughter —
the one I want to protect —
“This is why I can’t love you.”
What if our little girl comes to him,
with heavy, silent tears,
whispering, “Daddy,
I have dying thoughts.
I feel lost, alone, and broken.”
Will he see her pain?
Or tell her she’s the reason
he can’t love her?
How will she feel then?
Is that what I want for her?
To carry this weight
before she even learns to breathe?
I love him —
but isn’t she the result of that love?
Isn’t she just as important as I am to him?
Isn’t she our blood, our sweat, our tears,
our prayers whispered late at night?
Then why —
what if he can’t hold her like I hope he will?
What if he can’t hold me, either?
He is my partner, yes,
but she —
she is ours.
Isn’t she?
And isn’t it both our responsibility —
his and mine —
to hold on tight,
to protect her,
to be with her,
to make sure we find happiness together?
Why is he like this?
I know his view is broken —
but aren’t we the ones he loves?
Shouldn’t I, his partner,
and our daughter too,
be safe in his arms?
Can’t he see I’m breaking —
the one who stayed,
the one who loved him
through every crack and flaw?
I want him to teach her
that pain isn’t the answer,
but when everything falls apart —
when my heart feels just like hers —
Is he the one I should trust
to hold our daughter’s fragile heart?
Is he the one I should spend
the rest of my life with?
Copyright ©
Becoming trude from the ruins
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