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Uncured Skin

It doesn't seem to make a difference how many bottles I drained
What I smoked 
The medication I now take
The mask I wear upon my face
Nothing changes inside
Fast paced breathing
Clutching on to something
Never quite sure what I am trying to hold on to 
Too scared of what I might find
If I go searching for myself 
I'm too ashamed
I'm not ashamed
I crossed so many lines
I feel so sick, I feel just fine
I'm not quite sure what the hell I am anymore
Insults dried on my tongue
Bruises don't hurt anymore
Just another mark to fade away, I always want to fade away
Everyone just pretend I don't exist for an hour
And I promise to return from my own mind
With nothing short of a masterpiece you will never admire
A side of me you will never see
A promise you will swear I could never keep
One million more apologies
That mean nothing to you
But destroy me 
Merely of which to speak

Copyright © Kearra Kramer

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Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry