The Memory
The memory of us makes me smile
The memory of us four
The memory of us three
The memory of us two
And yes, I smile.
I smile because when it was four
He was here, the father I cherished
He kept me safe from the sibling
When he couldn’t, I cried
And yes, he kept me safe.
I smile because when it was three
He was here, the father I adored
He kept me safe from myself
When he couldn’t, I cried
And yes, he kept me safe
I smile because when it was two
He was here, and so was she
The parents I know, so beloved
Steadfast and timeless
And yes, she is in the two
He grew sick, so very sick
And she forgot about me
Because his cancer made him forget me
Wounded and broken, we forgot each other
And yes, I am one and she is one
Has she forgotten his impact
Has she forgotten Christ
Has she forgotten I am her cuddle baby
That when I do things out of character, it isn’t me
And yes, the out of character acts are from evil
Has she forgotten the devil
Has she forgotten evil speaks through others
Has she forgotten to ask what good there was
When he was dying
And yes, he died
When The Golden Rule applies
It is always, and platinum’s rule is
Treat others as they wish to be treated
Rather than how *I* wish to be treated
And yes, denial prohibits both rules’ use
To only look forward is not healthy
Layering in the good with the past bad is
And knowing what was evil and toxic
And placing blame of evil, not each other, is too
And yes, I mean healthy
What have I forgotten, I wonder
Is it her love for him
Is it her childhood
Is it her career, or her personhood
And yes, persons can be forgotten in fragments
To have an honest heart, evil should be talked about
In terms of how she and I fought through it together
For there are regrets when not showing the self
In total
And yes, persons who hide themselves are broken
How much breaking of her did I do
How much breaking of me did she do
How much breaking did the cancer do
How much breaking did evil do
And yes, cancer is evil
If a good Christian family has the devil’s cancer in it
Oughtn’t a good Christian woman to know
The devil will strike as they claim a body
A person stricken by evil through them is not guilty
And yes, the disabled are prime victims of evil
The memory of us four makes me cry
The memory of us three makes me cry
The memory of us two makes me cry
The memory of us two long ago makes me smile
And yes, because then I was the cuddle baby
Copyright ©
Caitlin Pfeifer
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