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Have a Cuppa

We used to just have a cup of coffee

	Black

		Possibly with milk

			Maybe with sugar

Mostly on Sundays and with cream as a bonus


Today they call it caffe latte or cappuccino

	Americano for the purist

                From a fancy machine

			With intricate pads

Anytime everywhere all day long


Espresso and hard pressed for choice

	Salted caramel mocha

		Strawberry frappuccino

			Machiato or Mochaccino

Did the wallet grow with the taste


But the ultimate gimmick on the luxurious decadence scale

Chewed and spit out seeds collected for Monkey Coffee or

Kopi Luvak or palm civet beans basically half digested poop


For one hundred dollars a pound I volunteer to add enzyme

And flavour to mucus secretion purely organic and human

Free trade maximum wage and organically tested intestines


At a price I would consider to s(h)it in a greenhouse in Iceland

Or gaze at Taj Mahal Paddington Station or the Eiffel Tower

Volcanic eruptions with Ricinus oil are available at a surcharge


Gluten free habitat and vegan production site can be arranged

Hypo allergenic and guaranteed lactose tolerant for milky coffee

The crap has no limits and animal welfare comes at a premium


Ingenious and indigenous I vow to cater for all upper class smells

Calibrate flatulence and ingestion ablutions elimination and harvest

So you my dear customer can metaphorically kiss my solvent behind



Who says that one cannot turn faeces into money by milking some fools

09th January 2020




Copyright © Kai Michael Neumann

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