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When the Door Stays Locked
You’ll come
Knocking on my door
One of these days
And you’ll know
What it’s like
To be able feel your insides
That uncanny descending feeling
Like a rock being dropped
In the ocean
Buckling your knees
With a thump of desperation
On my porch
Silence ringing
In your ears so loud
You can’t hear the door stay locked
Confused
By that stinging feeling
In your bloodshot eyes
As your cheek
Suddenly is stroked
In wetness
Pulse tongue tied
With the panic
Of hopeless delusions
Trying to shake
Thoughts of my eyes
Looking into someone else’s
The same way
I used to
Delve into the mires
Surrounding
The windows
To your soul
Your maimed dignity
Huffing up
Callous dreams of me
To help you
Sleep
At night
And scoffing off
My name
To your friends
Silently hoping
That my wounds
Are deeper than yours
Covered in scabs
Of lies
Disloyalty and neglect
While yours
Are just paper-cuts
Of rejection
But you’ll brag of the pain
For the embrace
Of intoxication stumbling in high heels
Leaning on
Your self esteem
The whole night
While I’m
Sleeping in the bed
I made
Dreaming of
All my future plans
While breathing at my own pace
Accepting that
Having an empty side of the bed
Doesn’t mean I’ll be covered in loneliness
Doesn’t mean
I’ll lay restless at night
Confessing my feelings to the ceiling
Copyright ©
Ali Lynn
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