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Snake Oil Man In Milton Creek
It was about seven in the morn as the sun was starting to rise
Unbeknown to the folks of Milton Creek they were in for a surprise
Outside the saloon wagons were unloading, before noondays heat
Rumour had it that it had been bought by a lady from back east.
Later that morning the street got busy folks came to take a gawk
Sheriff Koplin came out of his office and was watching like a hawk
There hadn't been trouble of late and he wanted to keep it that way
Anyone that wanted to cause trouble he'd make sure that they'd pay.
Sheriff Koplin walked toward the saloon to see who was about
Then the batwing doors of the saloon opened and a tall lady walked out
She hollered to the crowd , "hi y'all I'm the new owner and my name is Jan
I hail from a small island off the coast of England known as the Isle of Man."
The crowd cheered loudly to welcome her, it was a joyful sight to see
There was even more cheering when she said, "later the drinks are on me
I hope to open the saloon later today but Ive got paperwork to sort out
I need to see the mayor of the town to register, I hope that he's about."
. "
Lin was in the crowd and stepped forward saying," His office is in the saloon
He told me he's got a burial out of town and he'll be back about noon"
Sheriff Koplin introduced himself and said "Welcome to Milton Creek
You opening the town saloon again is a brilliant start to the week."
Just then Mayor Tom arrived and said "I've got to take a bath first
Then I'll sort out your paperwork over a drink, 'cos I'm dying of thirst"
He came back to the saloon an hour later looking spick and span
A hot bath and a change of clothes and he looked a new man.
They went upstairs to his office and he welcomed Jan to Milton Creek
Signing off all her paperwork so she could open today and not next week
Sheriff Koplin then raised his glass to propose a toast to the start of a new era
Lin said "I've a mariachi band at the hotel, I'll send them over to play rancher."
Lin added, "Tania and Deb used to work here and they'd love to come back"
Jan said "I'd be honoured to have them and get this saloon back on track"
Tom asked Sheriff Koplin if he'd get David and Terry for some security
'Cos folks haven't drank in a while and things might get excited and rowdy.
Then there was a big commotion outside the Sheriff got up to see
"Well I'll be damned" said the sheriff "it's that snake oil man from Tennessee
He promises cures for all ailments but he's gone the very next day
After conning the gullible townsfolk out of money he's soon on his way."
Sheriff Koplin dashed down the stairs and was soon out on the street
When the beady snake oil man saw him he went as white as a sheet
The Sheriff told him "Give back the money you've conned from the townsfolk
And get your ass out of this town pronto or your wagon will go up in smoke."
He got back in his wagon quickly and headed off down main street
Cursed Sheriff Koplin under his breath, but he knew that he was beat
That night the saloon fully reopened and was soon in full swing
The crowd called out for songbird Tania to get up on stage and sing.
Jan hadn't noticed before but then on the wall noticed the chair
And curiously asked Mayor Tom why it was all the way up there
Tom told her "It's in our very good friends memory, who's no longer here
His name was Milton Hankins and he's been gone from us nigh on a year".
Written on 14th October 2023
Copyright ©
Tom Cunningham
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