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How To Snag a Racist
If these racists be so plentiful
As them in power would believe.
There should be at least one found
Lurking... about my property.
How to catch this dreaded beastie
Was overarching on my mind?
So I laid waste my poor computer
To just see what I might find.
They are devoid of any substance
With a certain weakness 'bout the chin.
But the optimal way to spot a racist...
Is the color of its skin.
They are privy to beer and peanuts
With America's flag a source of pride.
But before they'd drive a Prius...
There's no law they wouldn't defy.
I take not a racist's capture lightly
Should one I chance to meet.
They are easily lured with a few simple words
And a flaming cut of beef.
With a healthy dose of patriotic fever...
I set out to numb this vile threat.
I grab my Mickey Mantle baseball bat
And my favorite fishing net.
I hide behind a Mulberry bush
To circumscribe this would-be menace.
Then give a loud shout... to them here about
"Three cheers for white supremacists!"
To my chagrin and stunned bewilderment...
There was no racist to be caught.
But a hundred media reporters
Suddenly swarmed my hiding spot.
They had no interest in abject poverty
Or an educational system past review.
But the chance to photograph a racist...
Well... that would front the evening news.
They waited through the morning
To appease their 'youtube' fans.
But with no racist's skin to log and capture...
They left to twist another plan.
I wandered home empty-handed
Stopping at a mirror aside the stairs.
With my apologies to them in power...
I still saw no racist there.
The End
*Fow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle.
Copyright ©
David Mchattie
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