A Real Bloke's Shed
Have you ever wondered what’s kept in a real blokes shed?
I bet you thought them full of junk, but I’m telling you instead.
I’ve had the privilege to peruse such a shed one night,
It’s owned by mate Kenny, who opened up my eyes.
There was carpet on the floor, compressors by the door,
Nuts and bolts, fishing rods, and Fosters cans galore.
And if you wanted any oil, like sewing, sump, or mower,
Just look around - you’ll find it stored; an ice-cream tub’s the goer.
A pair of boots a little tight, he’ll fix for future toil,
As Kenny’s way to make them fit is dip the toes in oil.
And when I asked, ‘What’s that you have hidden under wraps?’
‘A photocopy machine’ he said, ‘and next I need a fax.’
Oh, what delights this shed had brought, all useful stuff in here,
There are even shiny rolls of foil that hold your cans of beer.
I looked around and then I spied a cot upon the wall
In storage now, he will pass it on to eldest son named Paul.
On the shelf, a yellow cage for a bird he may pick up,
But have no fear Jeanette my dear, the feathered kinds enough.
Next to the cage a machine to sew, a little worse for wear
But Ken still keeps it, just in case his overalls might tear.
Equipment plus and flashing stuff in draws quite neatly stored,
And tucked away a paper too, in case your ever bored.
Although its news has come and gone of what, why, when, and how,
This edition’s old and rare, a collector’s item now.
However, in this shed don’t smoke, no ashtray can be found
It’s tucked away, so if you must just butt upon the ground.
And for those dark and dismal days a torch you may require,
Ken has several he would lend if ever you enquire.
When talking old but useful parts, yes most still have a spare
In case of breakdowns of the first - of course that would be rare.
Ken’s shed has lots of shi….ny gear, some new, quite fit to hock
But parting with equipment here, for Ken would bring on shock.
So, hear now, folks, and listen well - a real blokes shed has all,
Its contents stored on bench and floor and even up the wall.
And if you ever need a bit of this or even that,
Go to a real blokes shed you’ll find every piece of crap.
Copyright ©
Christine Watts
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