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When Sedate Age Remembers Crazy Youth

I'm a child of the '60's,
not quite a flower child, 
never really a hippie
(though my ponytail
drove my uncle nuts!)
but still I ate the ever
crunchy Beatles for 
breakfast, lunch, dinner 
and roasted the Stones
whenever a lady came by.

I was free then or so
I told myself, free 
to travel the world,
free to love and 
then, inevitably,
always leave--
free to dream and 
free to fail it seemed.

I owned only myself
but I owed no one--
both big mistakes
illusions really, for
we own nothing 
save our souls,
we owe everything
to everyone, most 
of all we owe God,
be we Baptist or 
Hindu, Catholic or
Jew, Muslim or
atheist:we owe.

Most young ones
learn in time--
we are not free,
we are not strong,
we are not whole.
We hunger for
more than food,
we thirst for 
more than water,
we need more 
than money, and 
we need more 
than our minds.

We are the animal 
never sated, never
full, never replete.
We are the animal
ever restless, sooo
easily bored, even
of life sometimes.

Is that why we argue
and fight, commit
pointless crimes,
end long marriages,
spurn our friends,
chase youth when
youth has become
less than a dream?

Is that really why 
nations go to war,
because of boredom?
We do we always
feel we are missing 
out on something?

Now that I am old,
I have no answers.
I thought I would
by now, I thought
I'd understand
myself, you, well,
everyone! And I
would know just
why I was so dumb
when I was young,
but I don't even
know why I am
so foolish old....


[written and posted 11/14/20]

Copyright © L. J. Carber

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