Unmade - FIRE AND ICE, part 1
Let the demons play — and let them fall
As they seek their next prey.
Merry-go-round, lost and found,
Salt trodden deep in earth and pain.
Zombies crawl. An ass's stall.
I don’t need this bottle.
I don’t need you.
Forgive me —
For all the prayers I whispered in your name in vain.
Enemies within,
Those who proclaimed to be my friends.
Lucky, I suppose,
That the last seven years were already hell —
So when your shadow came,
My mind was ready to let go of this shame.
To my unfaithful beloved —
A mask of joy,
A face long tarnished.
The whore of Babylon.
The queen of ice.
Go knot your best friend.
I am not him.
My errors —
But thy affairs.
My vain prayers —
Your dragon’s lair.
Wheat, tares,
Smoke, and ashes.
Set my demons free or bury them. It matters not.
But let the world know —
There is Baal…
And then,
There is you.
1. John the failure.
2. You, Crystal the Ice Queen —
You both were demons
are demons
demons
The tragedy:
A ripple in time,
That cost me Ginger —
One of my mentors.
Spiritually, emotionally.
I bit the hand that fed me.
You —
You gave me amnesia.
Trauma-Induced Dissociation.
And I laid my pain on Carrie.
You humiliated me.
You dehumanized me.
You demasculinized me.
You unmade me.
You shattered me.
You haunted me.
Because of you…
I can now be friends with Carrie.
I hadn’t spoken to her in 8 years —
Because of her divorce.
I projected myself on her husband,
Wrote her off.
And yet, I reached out again…
Because of you.
Two weeks ago, I saw a beast.
And I thought of you.
Along with this and that —
Something broke.
I am
A corroded lead nail —
Twisted, cracked —
Forgotten beneath flaking paint and dust.
You squeezed my soul.
And all that remains is bitterness.
I loved you.
You F***ing whore.
I was beaten,
Battered,
Threatened at gunpoint.
You raped me —
By letting him.
I was forced to watch.
You violated my body and my soul
By what you allowed.
And I fractured —
Trauma-Induced Dissociation.
But for the longest time,
I unfairly choose to blame someone
I'm sorry for being angry towards you, Carrie
Copyright ©
G. Jay
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