God punishes you but also makes your wish come true, what in the end will heal you
When someone loved me but I did not love them back,
they did so many genuine things,
like always reaching out asking if I was alright and took the mistakes their friends did to themselves.
They say:"Take care" with a smile, I wished that would've lasted longer, If I just knew what it meant.
I couldn't say that I don't have feelings for them,
because they did not start it.
And then, when I fell inlove.
I gave gifts, spoke in messages things I now would find cringe.
Always wanted to make them feel loved and never hurted.
When somedays he did things that hurted me mentally.
I heard rumors I were not ready to hear and not ready to know their truth.
When I awaited and asked, when that moment was his chance to close the door.
I stood behind and cried.
When someone loved me but I did not love them back,
they needed to endure many things I did, that hurted them in pieces.
My responses always keeping it short.
Laughing with other guys.
Getting along with others more even though he tried his best.
Then, when he saw me loving someone,
he tried to hide his pain with a laugh,
and everytime he talked with me he involved him.
When I got away from him and didn't love him anymore,
my crush had loved a girl in my class.
I saw how his eyes sparked and how many things he did for her.
Sometimes she got annoyed and told him, but still didn't chase him away.
She doesn't like him back.
Like he didn't love me back.
Where, the whole time, I didn't love the other guy back.
She still doesn't mind him.
I still don't mind him.
And he doesn't mind me.
Someday it catches us both, where we both do indeed mind eachother, but it is just the same as how his crush got annoyed by him sometimes.
The only thing I wished for was that he still likes me as a person.
I didn't realise that this whole time he got time understanding my actions, even though I thought it wasn't fair that I got now to see him love someone also brunette but just skinnier than me.
Where I understand where he comes from.
And where he understands where I come from.
I still wave to the guy who had a crush on me but I didn't.
She still waves to him even though she doesn't like him back.
He leaves me alone because I can't..
I hope that someday I can give you the signal, that I am ready you waving at me, and me waving back.
Once I was, where I was smiling at you,
and you smiled back at me.
Because I started it in the past.
And you wanted to me sure.
Do you think someday you will be ready?
Or that I will?
Copyright ©
Adna Demiri
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