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Comfortable being Miserable
you were completely comfortable
being miserable
like pain was a roommate
like the yelling was a lullaby
like love was supposed to sting,
and silence meant everything was fine
he broke you in chapters
never enough to close the book
just enough to fold the page over
so he knew where he was up to
you wore makeup like armour
told yourself
“it’s not that bad.
he's just mad.
he loves me.”
but love doesn’t leave handprints
love doesn’t apologise
through locked doors
love doesn’t come home
smelling like fear
you were completely comfortable
being miserable
but comfort isn’t safety
and miserable isn’t love
so one day
she packed her silence
and left the echo behind
it wasn’t brave at first
it was shaking hands on doorknobs
a suitcase filled with
second guesses
fear braided tight
like her hair
she cried as she walked
on the road to nowhere
felt the weight of every “what if,”
every “he didn’t mean it,”
every “maybe i’m the problem.”
but she walked anyway
shoes worn thin
heart heavier than her bags
and maybe she didn’t know
where she was going
but she finally knew
what she wasn't going back to
Copyright ©
Luke Liversidge
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