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My Mate's a Primate

I have a friend who beats his chest 
Who thinks he's tough, an ego blessed 
He goes out clubbing, club in hand 
Neanderthal romance, clubber lang. 

He drinks banana daiquiris by the bowl 
Experiments with chest wigs, an anthropoids soul 
He apes around to attract a mate 
A regular swinger awaiting his fate. 

My mate's a primate, completely nuts 
He likes jungle rap and scratching buts 
He knows his trees and their Latin names 
Defecates in bushes without any shame. 

My mate's a primate, he's natures fan 
A big white grin and an amazing arm span 
He cracks nuts with feet, his party trick 
Employs his member as a measuring stick.

Copyright © Allen Smith

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Book: Shattered Sighs