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Ana
Ana is a nickname used by those with anorexia. For some, it's a "superior" way of life. For others, it's a way to belong. Ultimately, it's a life ruled by fear; whether it's ever faced or forever denied.
If you suffer from an eating disorder, please try to get help. No one wants to see you die from your illness. Take care and stay safe.
Ana
By Michelle Morris
02/05/2023
Ana, Ana, Ana
Your name conjures up images
Demons and heartbreak
Anger and shame
Ana has been a part of my life for decades
She was my mom's best friend
She was a family secret
She was the biggest liar and manipulator
Nothing I could do or say
Would lessen her grip on my mom
I was sucked into her orbit
There was nothing I could do to avoid it
My mom was tiny
She was around 5 feet tall
She looked like a little pixie
But she could be a demon troll
I always loved her
I still miss her beyond words
But our relationship was complicated
By all the baggage and demons we had to deal with
It's taken many, many years
I accept that I'm not perfect
I appreciate that I don't have to be
To receive love and affection
But I still have super high standards
I'm still way too hard on myself
But I am grateful that I don't have Ana
Living in my life or my daughter's
Ana is divisive
She is cruel, controlling and dark
She'll never bring love and light
Sadly, she'll always be part of our world
If you have Ana in your life
If you believe she helps you belong
Please step back and realise it's denial
No one can show you love when you're gone
There's nothing superior about starving
There's nothing sacred about this way of life
You belong with those who want you to live
Please accept and embrace life and hope
You don't need to fear being happy
You don't need to fear the scale
You don't need to feel like an island
For you are part of life and you are loved
© Michelle Morris, 2023
Copyright ©
Michelle Morris
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