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[Sometimes when I’m struggling to write
I scrawl gibberish in the hope that inspiration
will lie within. Sometimes, just sometimes…
I like the result. This is one such]

There’s an ostrich in my porridge
There’s a shrew in my canoe
There’s a tiger in my trifle
There’s a Shih Tzu in my shoe
There’s a spider in my cider
There’s a goldfish in my loo
There’s an aardvark in the car park
and a coypu in my stew

There’s a monkey looking funky
With a meerkat for a hat
And an adder up a ladder
Hiding from a hungry rat

There’s a beaver with a cleaver
For he hasn’t any teeth
And a gator ate a waiter
Which was really rather brief

There’s a haddock in my paddock
And he’s in a proper muddle
An explosion in the ocean
Left him splashing in a puddle

A polar bear just over there
Has seen an easy lunch
For haddock are so juicy
With not many bones to crunch

He gave up eating penguins
When a penguin bit his neck
He won’t see that electric fence
For Polar bears don’t check

And when he got a zap
He got an aura that was fiery
He staggered round in circles
With his hair all black and wiry

He tried to brush the soot off
But he’d have to wash it later
He didn’t get the chance
Because he met the alligator 

The gator had to rest because
Although he felt quite chuffed
A waiter and a polar bear
Had left his belly stuffed

But my wife grabbed a hammer
And she’s had ten thousand views
Of her alligator handbag
And her alligator shoes

[Well, you were warned!]

Copyright © Terry Flood