In the Grip of a Panic Attack
"What's most horrible?" someone asked.
"What's most frightening?" another inquired.
Without a second, the soul replied:
"The panic attack."
One moment, I accept it;
The next, I encounter it.
Yes, it's a panic attack without any bear.
It begins with a sharp chest pain,
A tightness that mimics the heart arrest.
A lump rises in my threatened throat,
My heartbeat races, erratic and unsure.
My face turns pale, drained of life.
Yes, it's anxiety's ruthless strike.
I gasp, trying hard to catch my breath,
Laughing and crying at same instance.
"Don't hear,
Don't see,
Or else you’ll hate the scene."
All control slips away:
My mind, my body,
The emotions I hold near.
The howl fills the room:
"Go away! Leave, or you're doomed!"
"Leave me alone.
Let me die.
But close my ears tight."
Stop the haunting laughter.
Stop the chaos.
Stop everything.
And in that moment, I realize:
Something in me is deeply wrong.
Yes, it’s an episode of fear,
Where I watch myself and my body detach, dear.
The world blurs; I see nothing clear.
My mind’s a mess, shattered and insincere.
It grips a blade, trembling,
Fists clenched,
Thinking of suicide & murders.
Shivering uncontrollably,
Trembling, suffocating, fainting,
Words stumbling out in broken stutters.
Yes, it’s been four years since it first began.
My head blasts loud,
Dizzy, freezing, an unhealed wound.
"Will this ever end?" I ask.
Or will it haunt me, an hour each day,
Forever long?
Copyright ©
Aditi Sinha
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