Breaking News: Geico Gecko Missing
BREAKING NEWS:
There are unconfirmed reports that, while filming a new advertisement campaign, (on location), on the island of Flores in Indonesia, Martin the Geico Gecko, was eaten by a local komodo dragon named Varanus. Initial info suggests that Martin was taunting the komodo, but that is NOT yet substantiated.
Details are just emerging, but it seems Martin, whose body has not yet been found, (pictured here just moments before the tragedy), was initially bitten at a post-shoot party given by relatives, and was later attacked and eaten on his way to the Bintang Flores Hotel, after succumbing to the effects of the initial bite.
In a surprising twist it has been discovered that, even if they DO find his remains, his immediate family has no means by which to provide a funeral service or decent burial as, (according to a family spokesman), they are "just lizards" and have no regular income, (please contact the family if you'd like to help out).
Even more shockingly, they admitted that Martin was sadly "uninsured" ... so tragic. Let's pray this is just a hoax, and that the "little green bugger", (as he's affectionately called by his agent), has simply wandered off in a state of instinctual bliss. We're told this DOES happen sometimes with his particular species.
There is, as yet, little investigative information or hard evidence for authorities to proceed with, as the only witness was a rare Mascambing Cockatoo, who has since mysteriously vanished without a trace. Before its disappearance, however, the cockatoo was heard by many people as repeating Martin's last known words, ad nauseum, "Eat me, dragon! Eat me!"
They DO have the primary suspect under surveillance. However, due to the slow digestive habits of komodo dragons, it may be some time before any "solid" evidence emerges, and even LONGER before they can find a forensic specialist willing to analyze it, (it's a rather messy business, that). Please watch for further updates.
Copyright ©
Gregory Richard Barden
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