Forever doomed to reside at 2 Highland Manor Drive
Forever doomed to reside at 2 Highland Manor Drive
A worse fate than death being hull hive,
I just realized after a surprise inspection
our opportunity to relocate cursed
after yours truly and the missus
subjected to vitriolic wrath
(okay hyperbole employed
for poetic effect)
will exhale his last dying breath
condemned to reside within unit b44,
however many orbitz remain,
whereby yours truly already misspent
six and a half years
since exiting the birth canal
sixty five January thirteenths ago,
and set his sights
on a two bedroom apartment
named Hillcrest Manor
located in Boyertown, Pennsylvania,
which cautious optimism (door) dashed
because housekeeping tasks
not a strong point
with neither myself or thee missus
subsequently prospect to move
found us frantically using elbow grease
to make the bathroom,
(especially the toilet -
thank ye dear wife)
sparkling clean plus she applied
vigorous exertion to scour the freezer
(prior to said effort, the refrigerator
and upper compartment for frozen food,
on par to be qualified as FEMA* site),
meanwhile slender arms
of a former slender man (me)
energetically swept the floor
comprising area designated
for multitudinous accommodation
(with intent to vacuum
said carpeted quarter),
cuz invariable the recently hired warden
one frumpy office clerk Kathleen Bergen,
will report back to her supervisor,
which expected escalation
of our abominable negligence
could spell (worse case scenario)
becoming homeless in Schwenksville,
(thus support your local bummer)
but predicated on past encounters
of the third kind
with similar lease violation,
we got granted grace period
to buckle down
and plug away with responsibility,
which translates as
getting down to brass tacks
and voluntarily keeping
our living space tidy,
an object lesson learned late in life
remembering the house of my boyhood
(324 Level Road)
a sprawling mansion
populated with mice and squirrels,
(the latter making quite a racket,
in the walls particularly at night),
plus a truckload of cats and dogs,
which latter profusely shed thick fur
(enough to make a coat)
helping beget dust bunnies galore,
subsequently nurturing a healthy rapport
with dirty deeds done dirt cheap and true grit
while traveling along the highway to hell.
*Federal Emergency Management Agency
an agency of the United States Department
of Homeland Security, initially created
under President Jimmy Carter
by Presidential Reorganization Plan No. 3
of 1978 and implemented
by two Executive Orders on April 1.
Copyright ©
Matthew Harris
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