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Where Art Thou Anonymous Benefactor To Offer Me Succor

Where art thou anonymous benefactor...to offer me succor?

Ah... methinks legal tender 
could be a boon to help me bolster 
mein kampf with necessary material equipage,
which prospect to acquire essential 
commodities sabotaged 
at the altar of gullible travails,
thus perhaps thee could make 
a contribution to mine gofundme page.

Castaway stranded on figurative 
deserted island pitted with absolute 
zero salvation, sole recourse 
finds scant consolation with prayer 
lifetime atheist draws futile faith 
within himself grudgingly accepting
feeble accomplishments ditto permanent 
estrangement among kith and kin tortured 
more punishingly versus death sentence of 
choice: firing squad, gallows, guillotine... 

nostalgically sentimentally, and zealously
yearning fore gone girl(s) of mine, one 
spouse two grown offspring long since 
severed emotional home ties even when 
under same roof appalled, embarrassed, 
jarred particularly regarding good for 
nothing hang dog looking papa, mentally 
unfit father, who wrought misery
upon heads he begat chronically dirt poor 
Mainline moocher never earning a bloody
 
cent claiming psychological disability 
(verity substantiated with professional 
assessment attests to psychological mental 
illness probably present during inchoate 
biological development in utero, and most 
definitely congenital) unfortunate no 
supportive resources, thus experiencing 
grievous incalculable relentless scapegoat 
treatment - me no kidding 
inadvertently subjected with cruel, diabolical, 

exponential sucker punches
while riding the bus sitting stone temple pilot 
faced during class, belittled, defeated, 
framed unfairly as spitball culprit during 
eighth grade mathematics with Missus Labosh 
subsequently painfully shy lad threateningly 
harangued, and nearly paddled courtesy 
Methacton Junior High School principal 
Mister Clock believe me you, aye remained 
mum about said incident til...this moment, 

not surprising since every unpleasantry 
suppressed unwittingly festering within 
psyche in tandem with threatening rapier 
sarcasm ostracizing jibes cumulative 
wrath unwaveringly smoldering, passively 
brooding, visualizing punching meanies, 
screaming... wanting to kill - sublimated hurts 
glowering, exploding... decades later -
more often surfacing unannounced at odd 
times venting bile at wife directly, and barking 

at deux daughters subjecting innocent progeny 
with mine anger, or rerouting, harboring, 
channeling... pathological addiction answering
and posting personal classifieds, yours truly 
guilty attempting to appease call of wild at mental, 
physical, and spiritual expense additionally setting 
poor paternal example accompanied with detached 
avoidance maybe costing yours truly king's ransom
and/or receiving my just desserts, yes?

Thus yours truly imagines 
whizzing backward at light speed 
to reverse engineer 
and rejigger space/time continuum
many stupid blunders 
that cost me being knocked out cold 
courtesy rock em sock em life size robots
compromising opportunities
the figurative ball 
slipped out of my court 
bungled, fumbled, mulcted  
courtesy naiveté I did excede.

Analogous to albatross greater than weight
Atlas shrugged, severely over burdening
fountainhead, yours truly intermittently
wavered, sputtered, petered... out bumped
uglies fumphered, rutted, née languished 
along since birth, (possibly while in utero, 
or even moment of conception nada so
thoroughly good by George) or well resigned 
dirty deeds done dirt poor deeply grooved 
within very self restricted comfort zone,

eventually digging deep black hole sun, 
infinite void everywhere exit prohibited, 
whence twilight o' mine waning existence 
awakened sober inescapable realization 
impossible mission to garner je nais ne 
quois joie de vivre, thus officially reeling 
courtesy psychological angst (strumming), 
whereby galactic dash board pluck pitted 
against frantic ethereal desperation) eek 
clip sing el sol lure rays refracted back 

rendering blind did as a bat sightless 
wayward son helplessly, rustling grimly, 
futilely groping, lumbering, resigning, 
scarce tenacity clutch slipping
automatically bing foisted transcendent
state, where absolute zero soundcloud
bereft succor – meadow fore enshrouds
hermetically sealed turin soul (mine)
cocooning grubby human forever
pinwheeling within otherworldly realm

timelessly suspended within infinite void
n'er aging, rather regressing toward
infantile state, unable to distinguish
familiarity after aye promise never tug
heave fanta see piquing curiosity
acronym spelled out regarding above
soda describing bubbling sensation
"**** And Never Touch Again,"
red alert universal emergency advisory
button commencing countdown to

Armageddon, but subsequently resign
quintessential pregnant outcome
housing grimacing deathstill blackness
unbeknownst to constitute afterlife,
or less disconcerting, disheartening,
disenchanting... prospect namely
imperfectly square discombobulated
chaos betokens palatable alternative,
perhaps revelation (cryptically spelled
courtesy Chinese fortune cookie) less

dim sum more tolerable conclusion possibly
incorporates being rezoned, repurposed,
reassigned... within parallel universe fast
D'Cell rating indicative approaching
beginning space/time continuum, where
cosmos concentrated into microscopic
speck sagely, taste fully, gingerly...
handled... courtesy garden variety 
budding fubar Homo sapien.

An armature linkedin to robotic divine
creator, who never tired plying matter
into big bang dang boomerang contraption
only to release stretched material with
frisson cold snap, crackle, and pop
indiscriminately, haphazardly, gamely...
flicked teensy weensy itty bitty cosmic
dross - poofing into immeasurable shift
shaping said vast bajillion mile wide
instant karma credit witnessed umpteenth
birth expanding into former vacuum of
nothingness simulating an all encompassing
immense awesome kaleidoscope when
viewed thru virtual reality goggles all
the while frustrated wordsmith toying
with incomprehensible far out mind
boggling notion defying elaboration.

Copyright © Matthew Harris

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