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Rum N Raisin

Two little kittens; he’s Rum and she’s Raisin
Lived in a house near the zoo.
Rum asked his friend, “Would it not be amazing
to go catch a mouse or a shrew?”

Raisin said, “Rum, we should not be so meek
for we can do better than that.
Something with fangs or a long pointed beak
is a much braver task for a cat.”

Rum laughed aloud and then he meowed,
“We are only kittens,” he said.
Raisin said, “Kittens must always be proud;
to be cats is the reason we’re bred.”

They knew there were mice that lived under the floor
And rats that lived inside the shed.
They’ve never caught either, they’ve tried it before
They’ll catch something bigger instead.

Raisin said, “What we need now is a plan,”
and then started licking her paw.
Rum said, “Our food always comes from a can.”
And Raisin said, “Not anymore.”

And then she said, “Tigers and lions and bears
all live right there in the zoo.
If we can catch something that no one else dares
it’s tea time for me and for you.”

They leapt from the window and onto the shed
And Raisin said, “Head for the street.”
They had to jump into the vegetable bed
But cats always land on their feet.

Soon Rum and Raisin arrived at the zoo
They hid in a long grassy thicket
They crawled to the gate and they quickly ran through
For cats have no cash for a ticket.

They entered the cage of the hairy anteaters
Who kicked up a hullabaloo.
And one of them said, “Would you really eat us,
when we wouldn’t want to eat you?”

Rum said, “He seemed a nice fellow to me.”
And Raisin said, “Yes, I agree.
Let’s try the next creature and leave this one be
and find someone else for our tea.”

Then, at the pool, they jumped up on the wall
The penguins were eating their fish
One penguin said, “We will not eat it all,
we’re happy to share if you wish.”

Rum said, “She seemed very friendly to me.”
And Raisin said, “Yes, I agree.
Let’s try the next creature and leave this one be
And find someone else for our tea.”

Next was the monkey who said, “I’m so funky,”
and then did a quick somersault
Rum said, “We’re not having monkey for tea,
that monkey will never get caught.”

Rum said, “He seemed a bit crazy to me.”
And Raisin said, “Yes, I agree.
Let’s try the next creature and leave this one be
And find someone else for our tea.”

The Boa constrictor said, “If you say please,
I’d quite like to give you a hug.
Perhaps you would like me to give you a squeeze,”
he said with a grin that was smug.

Rum said, “He seemed a bit scary to me.”
And raisin said, “Yes, I agree.
Let’s try the next creature and leave this one be
And find someone else for our tea.”

Next, Rum and Raisin knew what would be fun 
They snuck up behind the hyenas.
Their plan for some fun was not a good one
And Raisin said, “Oh no, they’ve seen us.”

So Rum said, “That game wasn’t much of a laugh.”
And Raisin said, “Yes I agree.
We’ve made so much effort and yet I feel daft,
we still haven’t got any tea.”

And so they moved on and they searched for a lizard
They found a green scaly iguana
He said, “You can’t eat me unless you’re a wizard,
my moat is packed full of piranha.”

So Raisin said, “That’s just the way that it goes,
it seems like bad manners to me.”
Rum said, “Those fish might have nibbled our toes,
they would have had us for their tea.”

The next thing they saw was a large crocodile
But soon they went home on the bus
“Come round for dinner,” he’d said with a smile.
But Rum said, “Your dinner’s not us.”

Rum said, “His mouth was much bigger than us.”
And Raisin said, “Yes I agree.
I’m ever so glad we got home on that bus,
He’s not having us for his tea.”

Rum said, “I’m not good at being a cat,
the folk at the zoo were such fun.”
Raisin said, “Yes, there’s a problem with that,
For now we can’t eat ANYONE.”

Rum heard a squeak from a hole in the floor
A cheeky mouse poked out his tongue
Raisin said, “We don’t eat mice anymore.”
And the mouse said, “SO CHASE ME FOR FUN!”

Copyright © Terry Flood

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Book: Shattered Sighs