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My beloved mother
Is it really that hard to praise ,to be grateful.
Will it be the same if it was my brother or sister who did . Was I just a nuisance to everyone. I have come to fear quarrels . I have been called a coward , insensitive ,too emotional, reckless,careless ,
But do they know
She said i can't bear a little pain
Does she know i choke myself every night
Does she know i sacrificed my dream just to be called hopeless
Does she know i burnt myself because of her painfull words
Does she know i have cried and cried for just being accepted
Does she know i yearned for her affection
Does she know she is my whole world
Does she know i am afraid of hating her
Does she know i am scared that she will know i am in pain
Does she know that i screamed in silence just for her warmth
Does she know how cold I felt in summer
Does she know i hate myself
Does she know i tried to kill myself
Does she know that i was devastated because I even failed at dying
Does she know
Does she ever
Did she ever tried did she
Did she know that her words always echoed louder in my ears
Does she
Was I loved
Was I hated
I don't know
But I know
I yearned for it
When did it turn this way
I donot remember anymore
I myself think
I was just an extra
When i cried she said i am weak
When i tried she said is that it
When i won she said what's so special
When i complain she said i was just crazy
No matter what I do I was called stupid
When everyone admires me she said i was nothing
And
When I talk she said i am annoying
Copyright ©
Alapati Lasya
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